The pumpkin

I've talked a lot about unexpected gifts...well here is one!
I have this ratty patch of weeds...beside the garage.  There is a cart there, too.
I always say I am going to burn it up or burn it down but it is very close to the garage and you know what that would mean...yep, I would probably set it on fire.

My biggest thing is I know baby rabbits live there...I can not for the life of me hurt a baby anything...they may be adult fat rabbits now but...still can't do it!
Every time I go by this patch of weeds I fuss and gripe...but guess what I found there the other day...unexpectedly and quite by accident...you guessed it...this beautiful pumpkin!

Welcome fall...my favorite time of year and welcome pumpkin! Time to cut it from the vine and put it out for all to see. 

just filling time

I have finally met someone busier than me.
I sometimes wonder if God brought this person into my life so I can see what I was like before the divorce.  How Mark felt when I never had time for him or our relationship.

We all have hectic schedules.  Running our kids here and there.  Meetings every night of the week.  Being at church whenever there is something going on.  Our schedules are crazy.  Time is the one thing that people just don't have enough of...we are pulled in a hundred different ways.

I sometimes wonder if I was filling my time so I didn't have to be home with Mark.  If I was crowding my life so full of "stuff" so I didn't have to face the pain when I was home.  I really believe I didn't like myself much back then...I blame him for some of it but I also blame me for some of it.  My weight was out of control...my health was out of control....my relationship was out of control...and my time was out of control.

Do we fill our lives with activities, time "stuff", meetings, schedules...just so we don't have to deal with the real things going on in our lives?  When we can't find the time to get with the people and the things that ARE important in our lives then it is time to STOP the stuff and take note!

So, this guy and I have been trying to meet since we met the last time.  Two people who are over-scheduled and over-planners and way too much alike!!...needless to say...our calendars are so packed it is really hard to find a weekend...that is bad!
this has the possibility of a being a really good thing and neither one of us can pull ourselves away long enough to let it happen.  I think someone is trying to tell us both something!  Both of us have been hurt and is this just a way to keep from being hurt one more time? 

Thank goodness we have both been praying about it.  I hope God, in his infinite wisdom finds a way...it's in his hands...lets see where it goes!  If I can find the time I will keep you posted!

typos

I know I've written a lot about things that drive me nuts.

We all have them...those little things that just make you cringe.
They are like fingernails on a chalk board. 

Now I am not the greatest grammatical person.  Sometimes I am not the best speller.
But when there is a "jump out" "slap you in the face" typo on a page it drives me crazy.

My only excuse is I work wtih writers!  Today I opened a book of poems about change.
Here goes...see if you catch it...

Don't let me Fall

Dear Jesus,
Don't let me fall
Suspend me in your arms
Protect me from all evil
Give me strength to live
Precious God
I love you with all my heart
My living soul is yours
Forgive me for my sins
But except me as I am

What....except....isn't that suppose to be "accept" me as I am....
except:  with the exclusion of...exclude
accept:  to take or receive something offered, receive with approval or favor

So, I tried to tie in poetic language, play on words kind of thing....couldn't do it!
Writers you've had an effect or is it affect on me...I can't read anything without a red pen!

Same way with bathrooms...I worked in parks for many, many years and I can't walk into a public bathroom without inspecting it.  I was always drilled "you can tell how clean a place is by its bathrooms." Campgrounds, restaurants, doesn't matter...try to take a vacation and always be inspecting bathrooms!

Funny things we do!!  Habits hard to break...
I wonder if God looks at us in the same way?  He rolls his eyes and says I can't have any fun...I am always trying to figure out these creatures I've made!! What was once enjoyable is now sort of tedious because of them!! Where's the joy!!

Except for me...I guess we have to accept these little burps in our personalities and live with them.

friends and feelings

This past year has been another year of change...that is the only constant in my life...there is going to be some kind of change!  Today is my daughter-in-law Jennifer's birthday...and I think you all know how I feel about her...it is very hard for me not to be with her on this day...
We communicate a lot but I miss her and the family immensly...there is no description for the loss I feel...the loss of Mark was painful...it was a physical pain...the loss of Nick's family saddens me and makes me lonely.  It is so different.

This year I also lost a good friend, Cindy, who moved to Florida with her family.  I talked to her the other night after we heard about the death of our friend Kathie.  She hated being so far away from us all at this time and she just wanted to be close.  She misses what I miss...that closeness....that feeling of anything I need I just yell and someone is there to help. 

I just read Jennifer's blog and she could have been having the exact same coversation Cindy and I had the other night.  She misses her old life here in WV. misses what was. misses the feeling of knowing and safety of routine.  Change is so tough.

Tonight I also talked to my son Justin and we discussed when to take a leap...when do you know it is the right time to jump?  I told him...I am so ready but I'm not sure if the time is right...Change...Lilah is now pulling up and trying to stand....just a month...I saw her last month about this time...she changes daily.

found quote

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." --William Gibson

sometimes you need to share little snippets of wisdom!

fish flop

I haven't written for a week.  That pity party is still going on.
I am floundering.
Like that good old fish out of water I am flopping around.  Throw me back in please!

Yesterday I attended the funeral of my friend Kathy.  I am so sad for my friends.  It is selfish I know, but I hate to see people I care about hurt so bad. 
I went back to work and just sat in front of my computer...didn't produce much. 

I came home last night and jumped on the tractor and cut grass just to think.  I know I am being told to "be still and listen" but I also know I am on the verge of a big "something".  You know when you can just feel it.   You know something is around the corner.  I feel it.

I read something yesterday about confusion that said...write down what you are confused about all on one page...then list what you know is true and that will answer your confusion list.
I laugh because the things I know to be true are:
God is in charge
I trust God
God has gotten me through things
I should listen to what God is telling me
I shouldn't try to do things on my own
I need to wait, and listen (this is where the confusion comes from...I want action!)

So, I continue to sit and wait and keep my ears open.  Sometimes I think I am totally losing it.  Someone told me yesterday, you must not be listening very well!  If God has to keep telling you!!

I don't know if I can continue doing this.  This life, this house, this work, all of it.  What is it all for? Confusion and questions...big life questions! Does everyone go through these times?

While I wait I will continue to flop...and flip...and flop like a fish!

our youth

He put a child in the middle of the room. Then, cradling the little one in his arms, he said, "Whoever embraces one of these children as I do embraces me, and far more than me—God who sent me."

Oh how we forget about the youth...as someone that works witht them, I laugh all of the time and say they get blamed for anything that happens at the church!  We recently had a bad water break and sewer problem and I am sure in some roundabout way the youth caused it!

A young person approached a youth minister and asked: "If I did not come to church for about a month, would I be missed?"  We all feel this way...does anyone notice me or does anyone care?  We need to embrace our youth, love them and support them and let them know what a vital and important part of our church they are.  And they are.  There are some Sundays when they make up one third of the congregation on that day.  As a United Methodist our motto is "Open Hearts, Open Minds and Open Doors" and that includes our youth.  More than anyone we need to put this motto into action with them.  They (and all of us for that matter) need to feel that if we were not there, in the church for more than a month the Body of Christ would be less.

Why is it so easy as we get older to lose our optimism and our vision? To become set in our ways and forget what it felt like to be young?  We need them!  We need their energy, their craziness, their joy, their excitement and their "I can do anything" attitude!  I hope they pray for me every day because their is no way God can ignore their enthusiasm. 

I read this prayer recently and will share.
God,
help me,
help us all to see the world
through the eyes of a young person.
Help us to let go of our perceived wisdom,
our addiction to be right,
and our need to feel that our young people
have to listen to our wisdom only.
Bring a conversion to us now,
and help us to remember
that we have so much to learn from young people.
Help us listen to them.
In doing so we will learn more about you.
Amen

Help me to pray it daily!

people placed in our lives

Today I lost a friend.

My friend Kathy was one of the most gracious people I know.  She was to me the face of a Christian woman.  We talked a couple of weeks ago about her girls and that is the only time I've seen her break down through these four and a half years of battling cancer.  But, we ended by wiping away the tears and agreeing ...she and Dave had raised them well...to be independent, to be in church, to be giving and to know their God.  What an example she has been to her girls...teaching them about strength, humility, love, kindness, patience.  What an example  their dad has been as a caring, loving husband.  What more could you ever give your children than that...what more was there to do?

God will say to her, Job well done my good and faithful servant.

The thing I loved about Kathy...I've heard so many people today call her "my cheerleader" and that she was.  When I was struggling through the divorce...I remember crying with her one night and saying "While I was busy doing what I thought was God's work he was busy finding someone else." and she didn't skip a beat...she said...you believe in God, right...yes...now you have to trust God...he has a plan and we don't know what it is...but have faith....this lady who had her own struggles at the same time as me was comforting me.....that's why she was our "cheerleader". 

Throughout I never heard her complain...I never heard her say "why me" and she always thought of others or worried about others. 

The youth at our church were shaken today.  They struggled to understand.  What an influence she was to them without probably even knowing it.  Dave, Kathy and the girls have supported them through many a spring break of service and mission trip.  The family is a part of their life, their world.  Nothing is suppose to happen to people you know and love.

People are placed in our lives, for a lifetime or for a short time...God gives us the gift of a Kathy McCluskey...to bless us and show us his way and how to live for his glory... It has been a joy to know her and to have her be a part of my life and she will never leave me.  She has touched and left her heart with all of us. 

She is home now and enjoying it all in the presence of our Lord.  Live it up and prepare a place for us.  I love you dear friend.

dog farts

Ohhh the smell...you know that smell if you have a dog...it will make you gag!
When I was growing up we had a poodle named "Snowball".  When he ate Alpo it was trouble.  He would let the stinkiest doggie toots.  They were silent but oh my....they were awful!  We would always tease my dad because he always blamed the dog for every toot ever expelled in our house.  Those were called Alpos.

My dogs will have stinkies if their food changes at all.  They are NOT picky eaters but they should be.  Their digestion gets totally messed up if they eat anything different.

I know there is a kid's book out about a farting dog called "Walter the Farting Dog".  I am sure everyone has experienced dog farts but I'm not sure how many people talk about them.

My dogs actually expel gas.  It isn't often you hear a dog let one but two of my dogs regularly do it.  Every time I hear one of them...I stop and look at them like... did I just hear what I think I heard?  Of course they are looking at me like...what??....I think it was you!

Dogs are just a hoot! I never thought I would write about dog poop or dog farts!  I have sunk to new lows!
I bet God made dogs just to make fun of us...nope he did it for the realization of love...they love us unconditionally and I love my pups...toots and all!

pity party

Some days just call for a pity party and this is one of those days!
I haven't written most of the week because I've had electrical problems at the house since Wed.  When I came home on Wed night there was electric in only half of the house.  What?? I did what any good woman would...I checked the breakers...flipped them off and on a few times...nothing there...climbed under the house...flipped the breakers on the furnace, just because! It sounded safe! Then I went online to look at AEP's site...it must be where it was coming into the house.
Went on to my disciple class and asked the guys there. They seemed to think like me...it was where it was coming into the house. 
When I went to bed on Wed night, I slept in the first bedroom so I could see...power was on in the kitchen, pantry and family room...Power came back on about 2am...but when I got up and moving in the morning I noticed it was doing a lot of high and low level lights...strange...I went back on AEP's website and logged in a surge...About this time thought of my appliances...fridge was gone...pantry little fridge had thawed out and there was water all over the floor...YIKES!! AEP called back and said...we sent someone out and you have good power coming into the house but we noticed the ground under the meter box is very corroded.  I don't even know where my meter box is!! I was fretting at work and Mona volunteered her poor husband to come out this morning and see what he could find...he found a lot...the breaker in the box below the meter is fried...and it was crackling...above his pay scale!  Where do you find an electrician?  I called Leslie, a realtor friend figuring she would know.
So am now waiting for a fellow to come this afternoon...meanwhile thought I would cut some grass and when I went out...the tractor seemed to be leaning to one side...I had a flat tire...I threw up my hands for a few minutes and had a good cry, cussed Mark McHenry till a fly wouldn't light on him...and then proceeded to pump up the tire...that explains why it was cutting so uneven last week!
The electrical problems explains why I had such trouble with the air conditioning this summer...I am just praying all appliances are going to be fried, too.  Plugged in the fridge to a surge protector and it seems to be doing fine.
 
It sucks being a homeowner...you NEVER get ahead.  I am ready to sell it all and get an apartment...oh wait there are 5 dogs that rely on me.  What to do?? I think I just want someone to feel sorry for me...I need someone to let me whine and not expect me to be strong.  I need a real good pity party...just for me..I want to be selfish and not share it with anyone...this is my pity party and no one else's!!
whaaaaaaaaaaa!whaaaaaaaaa!whaaaaaaaaaaa!
Are you feeling sorry yet?

god moments again

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
   and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]
 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
   the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
   God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
   he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
 ⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.
 ⁸ Come and see what the LORD has done,
   the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
   to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
   he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;    I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”
 ¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress

So, I carpool to work with Courtney.  We talk alot.  Yesterday we talked about the 9/11 commemorations at our respective churches on Sunday.  She proceeded to tell me this psalm was in their bulletin in such a way it could be cut off and used as a bible bookmark.  She thought she would cut it out and put in her car in case we (she and Kim) were ever in a wreck we would have God's word with us.  She said she had just read the first paragraph....then later on she read the rest of it.

Do you see anything familiar in this scripture?? She said to me...Kim, it's the "Be still and listen" scripture.
I got goosebumps...God just keeps reminding me of what I need to do! I need to listen and be still.

jobs

It's Monday so off to work we go!
Another week, another dollar for our efforts.

I read somewhere the other day that no matter what we do in this life that we call "work" make it your ministry.  The way you act, the way you conduct yourself, is your ministry. 

Have you ever noticed there are some jobs we don't hold in as high regard as others?  But where would we be without them?  We tend to look down on blue collar workers.  We tend to not uphold the job they do.  When our kids head off to college we want them to be doctors, lawyers, or engineers.  Why? Because they make good money...bottom line...but any job you do is important to God.

I have never worked in a job I did not like...Now believe me some days are better than others...but I have never not liked my job.  I can't imagine going to a job you hate.  How miserable because honestly, we spend more time at our jobs than we do at our home many times. 

In this day and age when jobs are few and far between, we should be grateful for the job we have and for the work we do.  Work hard and be proud of whatever job you have.  We should never look down on others or the work they do.  Remember that ant in Proverbs?

Proverbs 6:6-11
You lazy fool, look at an ant.
   Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two.
Nobody has to tell it what to do.
   All summer it stores up food;
   at harvest it stockpiles provisions.
So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing?
   How long before you get out of bed?
A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there,
   sit back, take it easy—do you know what comes next?
Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life,
   poverty your permanent house guest!

So work hard, don't be lazy...All work is needed and necessary.  Work hard at whatever job you do and remember this could be your ministry.

where were you

Today in Sunday School we talked about 9/11 and the fact the kids in my youth class were between the ages of 2-6.  So they remembered very little about that historic day. 

I relayed my story...
I was at Hawks Nest State Park for a senior citizen event.  We were leaving for a tour of Kirkwood winery.  Before we left we saw the plane hit the first tower on the lobby television.  I just remember it was a beautiful day.  Blue skies and white puffy clouds.  We had two vans that were full of seniors.  We turned on the radio on the way and heard about the second tower.  My husband called several times just to check in on each other and we talked.  I prayed all the way to the winery. Several of the seniors had children in
Washington DC and in NYC.

We toured and were on our way to Summersville dam but all federal buildings were closed down that day.  So we did a turn to Carnifex Ferry Battlefield State Park...when we left the vans the people asked that we pray and we formed a large circle in nature and under blue skies and prayed.

All I wanted was my family and my church.  I left the event and came home that night so I could be with Mark and see and talk to Nick and Jennifer.  I called Justin several times throughout the day.  He was in the eastern panhandle at college. Which was much too close to DC.  I also knew they evacuated all upper level cabinet and staff to the NCTC (National Conservation Training Center) which sits about a mile from Shepherd College.   If I knew that who else knew that.

I came home...there was an impromptu church service led by George Webb and JF Lacaria.  Two men who could bring comfort.  I felt safe at home and church.  Mark and I stayed awake all night watching television, watching the towers fall and the destruction continue.

I remember my mom always talking about remembering where she was when she heard about Pearl Harbour and I never understood it.  Now I did.  The day history changes.  You remember where you were and what you were doing and what brought you comfort.

The scripture for the lectionary this morning was from Matthew where Jesus says to forgive someone 77 times and to love and pray for your enemies.  How appropriate. Hate can only destroy.We need to listen.

 I remember my children's sermon the Sunday after 9-11.  I talked about what we know to be true...that God loves us and God watches over us.  No matter what is happening.  Those thoughts came back to me 8 years later when tragedy hit my family.  When I hurt so bad I remembered that sermon....God loves me and God is watching over me.  No matter what.

God's Peace and Love be with you today as you remember.

lay leader

As I mentioned this morning today I attended lay leadership training offered by the Methodist Church.  We laughed so much.  Met some great people.  We had a great time and I heard the best one liner...we were talking about "politics".  We should all know better!! But this was a funny...
Politic comes from the greek word "Poli" meaning "citizen" and the word "tic" meaning a blood sucking low life...how appropriate!!

Thought that was funny!!

That was the kind of day it was...

calling

I have a busy weekend and it just started.  This weekend I am taking part in a lay leadership training program at the Methodist church.  There are about 8 of us in the class and our first session was last night.  I am not sure why I am here but I know something has been on my heart lately.  I am sure you've been noticing it in my  posts.  I am not sure what it is but its there...a calling...a feeling like I am being pushed to do something.

I think this is where that "be still and listen comes into play"!! I think I wrote way back in March that I heard God saying there is a life to save in Washington and knowing my kids were moving to the state of...I  had my bags packed ready to go...but I really feel like God is calling me in another direction...there is more than one Washington! 

God places a call on our lives sometimes and it is up to us to respond.   I felt like I needed to respond to this lay leadership training that it would help me find or prepare myself for this calling. 

I am not sure where I am going or how I am getting there but God knows and on that I will rely.  Pray for me as I struggle and patiently listen through this time...this time of finding his calling on my life...Pray that I "am still and listen" and hear his direction.

I am one of those people that want it cut and dry...I want a lightening bolt with song and dance....and we all know that isn't how God works.   I know I will look back after it all and say...OK, I get it now...this is what you had in mind for me and see how it all worked together for God's good and God's glory...

Like the old song says...Here I am Lord

courage

Courage is just fear that has said it's prayers...

the fear

The next time you feel frightened and fragile, stand very still.   If you do , you might feel the tip of an angel's wing brush against your shoulder.
Sara Ban Breathnach

Sometimes we are so afraid to do something we stand still and do nothing.  God, our creator is always beside us and walks with us....when we are afraid...just stand still and wait.  God will answer.

I listen to Joyce Meyer every morning...yesterday she was talking about how do you know if a man is the one for you.  She said "I can tell you. I know the answer!" 
Of course I perked up and thought, "I'm taking notes!"
Here is her plan:

Be still....(can you see how that keeps coming back???)
Pray for that person
Be patient...if it is meant to be it will.

She also said...if he's married...it's not God's will...no way! I loved that...
So be still and listen!
I will keep on doing it!

taking chances

But what do you say to takin' chances?
What do you say to jumpin' off the edge?
Never knowin' if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay
What do you say?

Oh to take a chance...it is really scary...we get so comfortable in the everyday and what we consider our norm.  It takes a lot to step out and take that chance.

I am thinking in terms of jobs...I've been looking around at what is out there and thinking about taking a leap...do I put in application? don't I?....if I wait they'll all be expired and that will make my decision for me!! Wimp...think of the song above...jumping off the edge....just JUMP!!

Then there is personal life, too...what do  you do? just JUMP!!

It sucks to be logical and think of all of the "what ifs"...don't you know people that are always taking chances...sometimes they come out good and sometimes they don't but at least they try it!
I think I just wrote the other day about not wanting to be laying on my death bed and saying "what if"

Ok here I go...JUMPING!
What do you say?

selfish

I heard Joyce Meyer say this the other day and hurriedly wrote it down...only to misplace it and just find it again. 

"You can't be selfish and be happy."  How true is that??

To be truly happy you have to give yourself.  You have to give freely.  You have to be open to giving your money, your time, and your heart to others.  All of these things are gifts from God.  All of these things he blessed you with...and I think he is wanting to see how you use them.  Are they used in his glory?  Are they used to give him glory? 

I always say "The poor person who has lots of money because the Lord expects a lot from you...he expects you to use it for his good not your own." 

Giving is a tough concept especially if you are selfish.  If you are concerned only with your self...you can't give to others because others will never come before you.  It is that old adage of "me,me,me, me"...It is all about me.  Everything revolves around me....what I feel, what I want, what I expect, what I get. 

Don't we all know these kind of people.  If and when I get that way ...someone please slap me up side the head and tell me.

unexpected gifts

Sometimes when we least expect it we receive an unexpected gift.  Last night is a prime example.

 It was one of those nights.  I was awake all night.  off and on.  I would drift off and the dogs would want out.  I would just get settled down and they would start licking themselves which becomes VERY loud when you are trying to sleep! And remember times that by 5!  I would toss and turn and  flip on the TV to see what is on at 1:30, 2:00. 

Finally around 3:30 the dogs wanted out AGAIN.  They were so restless...maybe because I was!  When they got outside they were off...running and barking really loud...I screamed at them...they paid no attention...so I went back in, shut the door and said some nasty words!  Let them stay outside all night!

They didn't stop!  So, five minutes later there I went...angry....of course I didn't think of my own welfare...who knows what was out there!  I never did see anything! But I told them to "GET IN THE HOUSE"...they paid no attention.  So, I walked off the back porch and toward the church next door to see if I saw anything.  Boy did I!!

I was given a gift of stars!  At 3:45 the sky was crystal clear and there were more stars than I could ever count or identify.  The Milky Way was visible.  It was awesome...I pulled out a lounge chair, relaxed and just looked.  Beautiful! They didn't stop barking...but I didn't even notice.

Finally, the dogs wandered my way and calmed down and the time was over...we went inside and went to sleep....but what an unexpected gift I received.   When you least expect it...sometimes....you are unexpectedly blessed!

random pictures

I just found these random pictures last night on my computer...I knew where they came from....Taylor would get hold of my camera and take the most random things....the top one...once I looked closely is the door to my fridge with magnets and pictures on it...don't look at the finger prints!...I guess she liked the one of all of the boys!

The second one is the wagon she would put her stuffed animals in and the bottom one is a pair of scissors...I hope she didn't have them in her possession.  There were also some close ups of Zack with his finger in his nose...it was apparent he didn't know he was being photographed.

The unexpected.  When you least expect it, something happens and can take you by surprise.  Usually it makes me laugh.  These pictures made me laugh because I can just imagineTaylor taking them and I am also thinking "Where was I through all of that...wasn't I probably suppose to be watching them!"

We should always be open to the unexpected.  Sometimes it is something we would have never thought of our self.  Maybe it is something we needed to do for a long time and just haven't but now we have that push, that nudge to do it.

Serendipity...do you know what that means?  lets look it up in Urban Dictionary! 

A very good coincidence, often leading to something really awesome.

The act of 'stumbling' upon something good or fortunate. Something that makes you happy.

Me stumbling on these pictures made me happy...it was serendipity I found them...maybe I was having a bad day and they picked me up!

Use it in a sentence:  It was serendipity that I put one quarter in the gumball machine and three came out. :-)

I like to think there is no such thing as serendipity but it is God's hand.   By us allowing something to take place it results in something else happening or otherwise known as a God Moment!!! Talk about 6 degrees of separation...I went from random pictures to God Moments...who knew they were so connected!!

God's time not my time

I thought I lost my blog site...ooops I put in the wrong email address...

Today was one of those days...a day to curl up in bed with a book...dogs snuggled down...I fell asleep at one point and woke up to a dog laying beside me, snoring...but that was the kind of day it was.  I cooked all afternoon...I don't know why...I probably won't eat half of it...but it was a cooking kind of day, too.

I guess all of that points to comfort.  It was a comfort kind of day.  I also stripped more wallpaper glue.  It was Labor Day...so I did some labor...stripping wallpaper glue takes patience.  It is tedious and requires you to take it slow and steady.  You can't get in a rush...and you can only do a little bit at a time.  I have a blister on my finger from scraping. 

That's where I am in my life right now, too.  I need to be slow and steady.   I want things to happen RIGHT NOW....but I know God is telling me to take it slow and steady.   He has been telling me this for a while now...remember that "be still and listen thing"?...and I am trying, really I am but patience is not a virtue of mine...so it is a struggle as I work on not jumping too fast or trying to make things happen.  All in God's time...not my time.

Swifters

Why is it on Labor Day weekend we decide to do lots of labor?  I always have a list a mile long of things to take care of on long weekends.  This weekend, as usual, it is cut grass, clean house, scrub floors and I am determined to finish this wallpaper stripping.  This morning I unpacked my fall clothes...can you believe it...today is suppose to be the hottest day of the year and next week we are in the 60's.  I left the sweaters in boxes but got out the long sleeve shirts and blouses and put up the summer short sleeve stuff. 

Time to clean up and clean out.  You have to do that in your life sometimes.  It is really hard to look at your life and see the dirt there when you are in the midst of it and living in the filth.   You get used to it and comfortable with it and sometimes think...this is the way life is.  But things happen that make you step back and look hard at it all sometimes...and you see the dirt hidden in the corners and hiding under the beds.

Have you seen those commercials for Swifters?  The dirt is hanging out at the space bar...looking for love...and can't find it until the Swifter comes along.  Sometimes you need to pull out the Swifter in your own life...run it over yourself and pick up the dirt. 

As Christians we also need to look at the dirt in our lives...the things that keep us far from God.  The things that separate us from him.. He is our Swifter.  He wipes us clean and if we are lucky we fall in love with him. 
I laugh when I think of God using a Swifter but he has to clean just like we do!  Much more. 

So this Labor Day as you are laboring...think about the dirt in other parts of your life you need to clean up and ask God to come and do some cleaning!

thanks Nick

Brad Paisley: When I get where I'm going

Thanks to Nick McC for reminding me about this great song!

Listen and read the lyrics below.  You know I'm an easy cryer!  Here come the tears! But I love the thought that this is what it will be like.  What fun...we had  a discussion in car pool about "will there be puppies in heaven?" for me YES! What will your heaven be like?  Oh to sit beside a lion and run your fingers through it's mane...

When I get where I'm going
on the far side of the sky.
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly.

I'm gonna land beside a lion,
and run my fingers through his mane.
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

(Chorus:)
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.

(Chorus)

So much pain and so much darkness,
in this world we stumble through.
All these questions, I can't answer,
so much work to do.

But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Oh, when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
Hallelujah!
I will love and have no fear.
When I get where I'm going.
Yeah when I get where I'm going.

I will love and have no fear.  This divorce and betrayal rears it's ugly head at some of the most unexpected times and I am so fearful to love...just when you think it's over and done something will remind you of the hurt and you don't ever want to feel that again.  I watched a movie last night and my favorite line was "God don't like ugly"  meaning how the lady was acting...I  don't know what all of this has to do with any of it...this morning is pretty random!!

kung fu girl

I just had to type that!! I skyped with my grand kids last night and after they went to bed...with Nick and Jennifer...we had a wine night via Skype!!  Jenn was drinking Kung Fu Girl.  A local Washington wine.  Who would ever name a wine that?  That just cracks me up.  Does it make you act like a KFG? What does a KFG act like? YAW!!

Anyway, last night was my Disciple class...and boy were we on a roll.  Ever heard the phrase:  don't publicly air your dirty laundry? Well it was blowing in the wind last night! The lesson was on pain and the suffering of Christians.  The questions at the end which always get us stirred, were on splits in the congregation...and it touched a nerve...we talked about the way the church is operated and who actually runs the church.  OMG. 

As we all KNOW God should be at the forefront with our sights always on him....wrong!  Then it should be Greg...our pastor....wrong.   It is the person that tells everyone what they can't and can do in the building.  Who made them boss? I guess we did by never standing up and saying STOP.  They can be the most hateful person.  If they actually aren't...they need a good PR firm because that is how they come across.  Christian? Ha!

Why is there one in every church?  Why is there that one person that makes everyone else miserable?  We decided last night it was the "us" mentality...it's all about them (hateful person) and not about God.  Priorities are screwed up!

The motto of the Methodist church is Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors which just makes me howl.  We wish that's what it was!  It should be My Heart (because it is all about me!), Closed minds (it is only my way and we've done it that way for 100 years), Open Doors only if you come at a certain time, don't get the floors dirty, door is unlocked and don't touch the paper products in the kitchen and you must read every negative sign in the building ooops I almost forgot QUIET! Sandy, I must confess, I am the one who sometimes tears down those signs you are told to put up.  Our poor church secretary, I am sure she could blow a gasket some time because of all she hears and is told to do!
That felt good to get off my chest!  God doesn't care about ANY of that stuff!  We are the only ones that care if an outside group borrows a paper cup.  WE CARE.  There is always the other side to the coin.  That person may just say...wow, what a giving church...that's what a church is suppose to be like!  Instead of receiving a call the next day saying "You used one of our paper cups that will be $1."  This is the face the community sees and you think the community doesn't talk! Ha!  

All we can do is pray for our church.  That we remember why we are here.  We are called in scripture to "Go and make disciples"  Lets hope the ones we make have open hearts, open minds and open doors! I think my new goal is to be " God's Kung Fu Girl"! YAW!