Seasons

Tonight was the Mother banquet at church.  This was a tough one for me...this was always a Jennifer and Taylor event and when my mother in law was with us it was always an event the four of us attended together.  Tonight I went with some of the girls from the youth group and their moms.  We were entertained by mimes from Emmanuel Baptist Church and through them I felt God talking to me.  Afterward I walked up to one of the mimes and said "You were talking to me" and she said..."I was, it was like I couldn't walk away from you and I tried several times and God kept pulling me back to you".  I want to share with you... the song they were miming to.  You will smile!  God is good all the time! Blessings to you all!

Seasons
I feel the seasons everywhere
And I feel blessings in the air
Those seasons you have sown
You're gonna come into your own.

Seasons, walk into your season.

I feel seasons everywhere

I feel blessings in the air

Those seasons you have sown
You're gonna come into your own.
Seasons, walk into your season

Walk into your season.

I believe we're in a time when God's gonna bless the saints.
Those who have stayed, those who have prayed
He's going to fulfill the promise He made.
For I heard the Spirit say, its your time.
The wait is over,
Walk into your season.

I feel seasons everywhere.

I feel blessings in the air.

Those seasons you have sown
You're gonna come into your own,
Seasons, walk into your season

Walk into your season

I know that you invested a lot
The return has been slow
You throw up your hands and say I give up
I just can't take it anymore.
But, I hear the Spirit say
That it's your time, the wait is over
Walk into your season

You survive the worst of times
God was always on your side
Stake your claim, write your name
Walk into this wealthy place.

The wait is over; its your time

a woman does not fart

So, yesterday I got my every-5-year colonoscopy.  This is not a pretty thing.  Anyone who has ever had one will tell you...the sleep is great...the prep is horrible.  I puke while prepping and I am someone who will do anything to keep from puking!  I won't even talk about the water poop you get from the prep.

The sleep is amazing...the nurse said...your lips are going to feel numb and immediately you are asleep!! Then twenty to thirty minutes of your life are unaccounted for while they do unmentionables to your body. Suddenly someone says "Wake up" and you are wide-eyed again.  It is amazing...and you are hungry as all get out!!

You know I have a new man, who was kind enough to take me for my procedure.  Now this is a new man...he doesn't even know I have bowel movements yet.  It is still early in the relationship, you better believe I've never farted in front of him!! Part of a colonoscopy is they pump you full of GAS and leave some up there...resulting in expelling of gas. 

Do you know how uncomfortable it is trying to act all ladylike and all the while gas is exiting your body and NOT QUIETLY!! Plus, you have a nurse saying "push it out", "get it out of there".  Well, he is a witty man and had some nice one liners about my situation.  This is why he is so special.

A colonoscopy is a necessary evil.  It detects early colon cancer.  Thank goodness I was all clear and I now won't have to do it for another five years.  By then Dave should know that I burp, too!

i'm back

You know the thing about New Year's resolutions...they don't stick!! I was going to make sure I write every day...wrong!
But the nice thing is...we can keep trying!
I know this blog was about divorce but now it has seemed to turn the corner and is about new beginnings and new loves.  As I was going through the pain of separation and divorce everyone kept telling me...it just takes time...time, will get you through.  I am here to say they are so right.  Do I still think about it...yes...but the sting is gone and I see a new beginning.  Has it been tough and is it still tough...yes...but I am trudging along.  I am happy.
In November the ladies at church commented on how happy I was looking...at the time I was corresponding and had met a wonderful fellow from the east coast.  I thought I was moving east...so I was happy and planning...then when you least expect it, God throws you a loop.  What do they say...if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans...he was hootin' and hollerin'.
. 
I still look at Dave, who I've known for years and say...I can't believe this!!  He called to see if I wanted tickets to a concert and it started from there...a long breakfast where we talked about EVERYTHING...and it is still going strong.
The day Dave called I truly believe God placed a special gift right in my lap and told me, you have suffered long enough...now enjoy this!
The greatest thing is he loves all of the kids...whenever I say "the kids" he says wait...I never know which ones you are talking about...yours...the grand kids...mine or the church kids!!  None of that group frightens him...we are getting ready to leave to spend a week with my son and his family in Washington state.  He is a brave man!  Did I say my mother is going with us?
One of the kids at church looked at him not too long ago and said..."You didn't know when you started dating her you got all of us too."  and he said..."that's OK".  See my gift?
What will the future bring?  It doesn't matter...I am right now enjoying all of it!
God is good all the time!

looming race

Well I did something stupid...what's new?!? I signed up to run my first 5K on March 10.  I am well aware of and know my faults.  I know I procrastinate.  I know I love to wait till the last minute.  There is a big BUT here...I can't train in two days and be ready.  I've been treadmilling every morning but only as long as I feel like it...not pushing myself.  I have added Richard Simmons once a day and this morning I added Rodney Ye and yoga. 

I've done yoga in the past and it makes me feel really good and loosens me and all of my joints ...so I'm thinking...it can't hurt.  So I pop the tape (yes tape) in the VCR this morning and start.  I can't help but laugh...he is so pensive, calming....breath, he keeps repeating because he knows I am there straining and holding my breath.  He will say "relax your neck" at the exact time I am straining mine...how does Rodney know these things? Of course the dogs are looking at me like...what are you up to now!! Why does she do this stuff! Be like us...just chase each other and smell butts and you won't need all of this.

So I am in downward facing dog and my mind is thinking...the carpet doesn't smell as bad as I thought it would with five dogs wiping their feet and other parts on it...this is why I am no good at exercise...my mind wanders.

So I now have 31 days to get in shape and get ready to run 3 miles...anyone can run that far...right? I think I'll take a break this afternoon...I'll let you know...

rules of life

At the beginning of January, I resolved to write more....blog more....first resolution...broken.  I haven't written at all since that first time...what has happened to time?  It has flown, no zoomed by. I keep telling my kids I'm in la la land.  Being with Dave has made me dingy.  I don't remember things...I don't do things...I forget birthdays and Christmas...Wow!

One of the great things Dave has given me...other than the obvious is his "rules to live by".  He has three but once in awhile another one will pop up and I'll ask if this is a rule, too.  Rule number one is my favorite and the most important, I think.  I use it often to evaluate a situation. 

Rule #1...It's not about you...never was...never will be.  WAIT!! I thought the entire world revolved around me...you mean it doesn't?  Well, how do you like that! All he has to do is look at me and say...Rule #1. 
Shucks, I have to re-evaluate! 

The next time something comes up and you need to make a decision think about Rule #1.  I guess with this dating thing also comes someone who helps me become a better person.  Wow, two for the price of one!  Thanks Dave.  Come back for rules 2 and 3!

Lets go get a Brazilian wax!

I have heard about a Brazilian wax forever.  But what is it really? I always thought...YUK...who would get such a thing...as you know I have become very adventurous in this new life!  I am easily talked into all kinds of things...and lets just say...I was easily swayed....why not...what the heck...I will try anything once...right???

Well lets just say I won't try it twice.  I went with a friend...she was the one that talked me into it!!  We walked into a salon and you guessed it...small Asian woman..."who go first?" she asked....well I jumped on that because I knew if I waited I may never do this...

I think I had a near-lesbian experience.  I never thought a woman (other than my family doctor) would ever be in that space! And checking me out...oh my, what have I done!

Well as you know me by now...I laugh all of the time and I have now discovered as I am getting hot wax dripped in delicate places... I laugh...when little Asian women are between my legs...I laugh...when hair in the same delicate places is being ripped out by the roots...you guessed it ...I laugh! I kept asking questions...she said "Men like this"....I kept saying..."do you do this?"...she kept saying "Men like this"...honestly...I don't give a crap if men like this...does she know how it feels?? this thing she is doing to me...OUCH...she just smiles...and rips!! I say...Can I see...she says "Wait till finished"

She starts out easy and with the wax only warm... not burning and by the end...the easy is gone and the wax is freaking hot...I will say, too....I am not a hairy woman...thank goodness!!

I am dying laughing by the end...who am I going to show this new hairdo to?? She gives me a hand mirror at the end to see what it looks like...I keep laughing...the poor little thing is as pink as a baby's bottom...cause it is embarrassed for one thing and hurting for another.

I walk out of the little room, knowing I am going to hell for this and smile at my friend...you're next, I say...she says "how was it"..."Just wait" I said...when she is all finished she asked why I didn't tell her it hurt so bad..."I wouldn't have done it" she says....that's why!!!

Of course I googled this before I got it done and found where you can get it bejeweled and bedazzled...what!!?? Who would do that???  Well...I'll try anything once!

Its a New Year!

I would have never thought the year would end on the note it is ending on...A new man in my life...lots of fun...family likes him...life is good...who would have thought when I started this blogging journey this is how it would come to a close in 2011?!  I can't wait to see where 2012 leads me...and I am anxious and ready for the journey!
As the year closes...let me share with you...as a woman who continues to seek the answers...make the journey fun and be open to all you can learn! Love you all Happy New Year!

PS:  My New Year's resolution...get back to blogging!  I miss it and the new stories I have to tell...who knew you could learn so much at 55!!!

Enjoy the following poem...adapted and rewritten and the original...

Ithaka
Pray that your journey be long,
Full of many summer mornings
When with much pleasure and much joy
You anchor in harbors never seen before;
Browse through Phoenician markets,
To purchase exquisite treasures-
Mother-of-pearl and coral, ebony and amber
And sensual perfumes of all kinds-
As much as you desire.
Visit many Egyptian cities, content
To sit at the feet of sages, eager
And open to receive learning.
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Your arrival there is your destiny.
But do not hurry the journey at all; be patient.
Better that it lasts for many years-
Longer than you can even imagine.
So that finally, when you reach this
Sacred isle, you will be a wise woman,
Abundantly fulfilled by all you have gained along the way;
No longer expecting Ithaka to make you wealthy,
No longer needing Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka offered you the profound journey,
The chance to discover the woman you have always been.
Without Ithaka as your inspiration, you
Never would have set out in search of Wholeness.
And should you find her poor, Ithaka did not deceive you.
Authentic as you have become, full of wisdom,
Beauty and grace, enriched and enlightened by all you have experienced
You will finally understand what all of life’s Ithakas truly mean.
 “Ithaka” by Constantine Peter Cavafy
Personal translation by: Susan Ban Breathnach

Ithaca

  When you set out for Ithaka
ask that your way be long,
full of adventure, full of instruction.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
such as these you will never find
as long as your thought is lofty, as long as a rare
emotion touch your spirit and your body.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon - you will not meet them
unless you carry them in your soul,
unless your soul raise them up before you.
Ask that your way be long.
At many a Summer dawn to enter
with what gratitude, what joy -
ports seen for the first time;
to stop at Phoenician trading centres,
and to buy good merchandise,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensuous perfumes of every kind,
sensuous perfumes as lavishly as you can;
to visit many Egyptian cities,
to gather stores of knowledge from the learned.
Have Ithaka always in your mind.
Your arrival there is what you are destined for.
But don't in the least hurry the journey.
Better it last for years,
so that when you reach the island you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to give you wealth.
Ithaka gave you a splendid journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She hasn't anything else to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaka hasn't deceived you.
So wise you have become, of such experience,
that already you'll have understood what these Ithakas mean.

Constantine P Cavafy