I guess I should apologize for my rantings yesterday...but if nothing else it showed you the emotional upheaval you experience as a result of divorce. There is no happily ever after divorce.
It will soon be two years since I found out and it has been a constant battle of emotions. From the days of tears and wallowing in self pity. To days of ranting and anger. As you could tell in the posts over the past week it was a roller coaster week.
Some day I know it will be OK. I know the emotions will even out and that roller coaster will get like the kiddie coaster with tiny hills and no big mountains that turn upside down or do a corkscrew!
I look forward to those days and count the days until they come.
Thanks to Melissa for this scripture:
Psalm 30:5
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
be still and know I am God
It is absolutely beautiful here today...sunshine and warm...I was home sick yesterday...I have the crud...today is a new day...so I am cleaning out gardens and my garage. That is my goal for today.
As I am cutting back butterfly bushes and coughing and hacking I am finding little sprouts of new life.
Awesome....that groundhog was right I think...spring is on the way.
New beginnings...I've had some epiphany's the past few days as I laid in bed and had a movie marathon coughing and hacking...I have decided I need a new job...financially times are tough, I want to leave here soon and it is time to take control. I have been cruising along long enough...I need to start building...building money, building knowledge and building my self esteem...i always like a plan, I like to take charge, to take control. I remember telling Aslam that when he asked me to take on children's ministry at the church and he told me...maybe that was why God was calling me...I needed to learn patience and giving up control. Wow was he every right...but do I ever learn...NOOOO.
I talked to Lora this morning and she told me not to jump when I am angry but to be still and listen. I told you she always sends me scripture...Today is was Psalms 37:7-9. It talks about "be still and listen to the Lord...stop being angry...turn from your rage...the wicked is destroyed and those that trust the Lord will carry on".
Why is it so hard to trust the Lord? I think it is because to me...he is slow...I want it NOW...i want things to happen right NOW! I am not patient. I told you I like control... Maybe that is what the Lord is teaching me...to be patient...I've told you through all of this he has said " Trust me...let me do my work." Why is that so hard to do...maybe it's the weather the last few days...I don't want to trust, I don't want to stay still, I want to move...
OK...so I will just use all of this energy and clean...gardens, garages, bedrooms, toys...all the while being still and knowing he or she is God.
As I am cutting back butterfly bushes and coughing and hacking I am finding little sprouts of new life.
Awesome....that groundhog was right I think...spring is on the way.
New beginnings...I've had some epiphany's the past few days as I laid in bed and had a movie marathon coughing and hacking...I have decided I need a new job...financially times are tough, I want to leave here soon and it is time to take control. I have been cruising along long enough...I need to start building...building money, building knowledge and building my self esteem...i always like a plan, I like to take charge, to take control. I remember telling Aslam that when he asked me to take on children's ministry at the church and he told me...maybe that was why God was calling me...I needed to learn patience and giving up control. Wow was he every right...but do I ever learn...NOOOO.
I talked to Lora this morning and she told me not to jump when I am angry but to be still and listen. I told you she always sends me scripture...Today is was Psalms 37:7-9. It talks about "be still and listen to the Lord...stop being angry...turn from your rage...the wicked is destroyed and those that trust the Lord will carry on".
Why is it so hard to trust the Lord? I think it is because to me...he is slow...I want it NOW...i want things to happen right NOW! I am not patient. I told you I like control... Maybe that is what the Lord is teaching me...to be patient...I've told you through all of this he has said " Trust me...let me do my work." Why is that so hard to do...maybe it's the weather the last few days...I don't want to trust, I don't want to stay still, I want to move...
OK...so I will just use all of this energy and clean...gardens, garages, bedrooms, toys...all the while being still and knowing he or she is God.
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