be still and know I am God

It is absolutely beautiful here today...sunshine and warm...I was home sick yesterday...I have the crud...today is a new day...so I am cleaning out gardens and my garage.  That is my goal for today.

As I am cutting back butterfly bushes and coughing and hacking I am finding little sprouts of new life.
Awesome....that groundhog was right I think...spring is on the way.

New beginnings...I've had some epiphany's the past few days as I laid in bed and had a movie marathon coughing and hacking...I have decided I need a new job...financially times are tough, I want to leave here soon and it is time to take control.  I have been cruising along long enough...I need to start building...building money, building knowledge and building my self esteem...i always like a plan, I like to take charge, to take control.  I remember telling Aslam that when he asked me to take on children's ministry at the church and he told me...maybe that was why God was calling me...I needed to learn patience and giving up control.  Wow was he every right...but do I ever learn...NOOOO.

I talked to Lora this morning and she told me not to jump when I am angry but to be still and listen.  I told you she always sends me scripture...Today is was Psalms 37:7-9.  It talks about "be still and listen to the Lord...stop being angry...turn from your rage...the wicked is destroyed and those that trust the Lord will carry on".

Why is it so hard to trust the Lord?  I think it is because to me...he is slow...I want it NOW...i want things to happen right NOW! I am not patient. I told you I like control... Maybe that is what the Lord is teaching me...to be patient...I've told you through all of this he has said " Trust me...let me do my work."  Why is that so hard to do...maybe it's the weather the last few days...I don't want to trust, I don't want to stay still, I want to move...

OK...so I will just use all of this energy and clean...gardens, garages, bedrooms, toys...all the while being still and knowing he or she is God.

scripture in the strangest places!

Many times it is through scripture reading that God speaks.  Scripture has been my friend through this as I search for answers...It is the age old question of why bad things happen to good people...that may be a bit pretentious but I try to be good...As I said, in the beginning it was Job and that was depressing but I read a lot of God's replies to Job...those "who do you think you are" scriptures...which humbled me...but I know my God is a loving God, so I wanted the reassurance which is when I turned to the Psalms.  David was a jerk but he also was attuned to God.  Psalm 23 became about hardships more than death for me. Psalm 139 reassured me that God knows ME.  He knows what is happening with ME...and has from the beginning.

My friend Lora would text me scripture whenever she thought of me...Jeremiah 29:11 became my mantra ...'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, ' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' What peace you can find in that!! As I type that scripture is hanging in front of me and in my car it is on my dash.

With healing came different scripture...Proverbs has such wisdom!  Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath..." and Isaiah brings hope, "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength."

Years ago Traci got me a little box full of tiny little cards with daily scripture reading and I started reading one every morning and going to my bible and looking up what is around it...also there is a prayer on the other side of the little card...it is usually right on target with what I am feeling...

Last night around 2:00am I let the dogs out and as I slipped back in bed there was something stuck to my butt...guess what...it was one of those little cards from my daily scripture reading...so I figured God really wanted me to get this one!!! Matthew 5:4 " Blessed are they that mourn; for they will be comforted." 
 I was having one of those crying moments yesterday....someone said something nice to me (about my cleavage) and on the way home I burst into tears wondering why my husband never spoke to me like that and realizing I felt ugly for a long time...Maybe God is telling me...you've mourned and I've comforted...now move on girlfriend!!! Thank you Barry it wasn't sexual harassment and I did look in the mirror!!!
I think I can really say God gave me a kick in the butt...isn't he funny!!