Soooooooo

So, I went back and read some of my past posts yesterday.  Have you ever noticed how many times I start a sentence with "So, "...wonder what that is all about.

I knew there had to be an answer somewhere about this phenomenon.  Sure enough I googled it and read:
"Starting a sentence with 'so' claims it as true.  Starting a sentence with 'So' came about from the folks at Silicon Valley during the 90's.  'So' adds a whiff of logic to relay authority.  The word "well" vacillates but "so" declaims." 

Wow...do you think I am once again trying to control a situation?  I want you to believe everything I am saying...so, i will start the sentence that way...

I even try to control you folks, some of you I don't even know!

While I was going to counseling we had many conversations about control...one of the things I have come out of this believing is the only person I can control is ME.  That is a complete backstep for me...I always thought I had control of my life.  I can hear God laughing right now! Loudly!

I was NEVER in control. 

Mark has always told me I turned the boys against him.  Even when we were still married, I made him out to be the bad guy in the marriage.  They are grown men in their 30's...whom I've had no control over since the time they were probably in elementary school.  Somehow I have controlled their thoughts about this entire ordeal.  So, that's amazing that I can have such control over grown men!  You would think I'd have a line at my door!

At some point throughout this past year I remember saying to God...here is is...I am not doing very well with it...it is all yours!  I gave up any control I thought I had and remember feeling such relief.

What a relief it is to realize you don't need to work so hard trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
It is what it is...that is a great phrase that is pretty popular right now and it is so true.

So, it is what it is.
So, deal with it!
So, control-freak!  Let it go!
So, you're not in control.