weddings

This weekend we are celebrating my nephew's wedding.  We are all meeting in Md. and for the first time everyone in the family will meet Lilah.  It is sure to be a celebration. Not sure there will be much blogging but I will take my laptop.  Never know when a God moment will appear.

Weddings bring out emotions. I first found out about Mark's affair the day before we were to leave to attend my niece's wedding.  We missed that one.

I found out he was still seeing Kathy two days before my son Justin's wedding.  I asked him to leave.  That wedding was a blur.  I was numb. I had to get up in front of everyone and read the love scripture of 1 Corinthians....I always tell Justin...no wedding could be more fraught with tension than his. He will have a story to tell.  In the future if any of his friends talk about being nervous...he can tell his story and they will find comfort, knowing it could be worse!

Now my nephew's.  His mom and dad do not live together and there is a girlfriend on the part of my brother and days before the wedding my nephew blew up at mom telling her his true feelings about his dad.

What these men do to their kids.  I hope and pray that because these boys have experienced the abandonment and disinterest from their dads they will become parents that care and show their love.

God makes women strong.  For some reason he gives them the fortitude and the backbone.  He must know the flaws he has put in men and he must know women will need to call on their strength.

In all cases there is another woman involved and I always wonder "what kind of woman sets out to steal someone's husband'? What kind of woman does that? What kind of woman puts herself above the covenant God has blessed? I guess it takes a special one!

My class scripture reading this week is Isaiah.  Last night I read...you will be held accountable.  You will be called one day to account for your actions.  That is where I find peace.  One day they will both have to stand before God and tell him the pain they caused. As they stand together to marry  in May they will again make a covenant with God, what will God think? Didn't I do this once already? Will he bless it?

God works in mysterious ways...Weddings bring such memories.

it isn't what it seems

This divorce and adultry has had some wierd consequesnces for me... i think and believe nothing is what it seems...there are motives to everything...nothing is done just because.

I see two people together in a parking lot and I think...they are having an affair...
I see two people not talking at dinner...he is cheating on her...
I see a man in a sports car and "Born to be Wild" blasting out of radio and I think...mid-life crisis
I see a single man and I now look immediatly for their wedding ring or ring line (Mark never wore one...that should have told me something! Wonder if Kathy can get him to wear one)
I see these pictures on e-harmony and think...what do men think?  A few extra pounds can be seen in your profile picture.

The internet has a language all of its own!
What's with these online profile names? and all these Harley references?
I read in the book "Still Hot"
If his profile says:
I'm looking for my soul mate:   He's been out there for a long time, and will remain there...
If it says would like a non-demanding woman:  He has intimacy issues.
I'm semi-retired:  He occasionaly gets up out of the barcalounger to look through his Start Your Own Business book shelf.
I quit the rat race:  He spends his days in an overstuffed armchair at Barnes and Noble reading Hustler for free.
He describes his body type as "above average":  He only looks in the mirror on the medicine cabinet.
He says I've been told I am handsome:  Yea by his mom!

Divorce does crazy things to you...and one is not believing a word anyone says, or trusting anyone, wanting to know everything about someone just to make sure he has never hurt another woman.
I know God tells us not to judge others...but really, some men...
I know God tells us to trust him with our own heart, lean not on our own smarts...

 God is a man (maybe a man) I can trust in...

The phone call

After finding out about my marriage I took a 2 month leave of absence from my position as a youth director at Cross Lanes United Methodist Church.  One of the hardest things for me to do was walk back into a church...i couldn't walk back in the front doors for some reason...I felt dirty, used and just sad.  I had a great friend in Lora who took over my duties for me and she and the kids would constantly send me cards but I could not get up the courage to go in the doors.  One night I received a call from one of the youth, Evan, that asked me to come to a youth event several Friday nights in the future.  Only because of that call did I walk back into my church.  It was my first step toward recovery...between the time of his call and my return I found out my husband had not quit seeing his girlfriend as he professed, my youngest son got married amid the turmoil and I asked my husband to leave our house...what trauma.  That call was imperative...sometimes we are called to do something and we don't act on it...We hear a voice that says send so and so a note or call someone.  I am here to say DO IT...you never know the impact your action may have on that person.  Evan and I've had several emotional conversations about the call he made and the impact it had on my life. By returning to church I was wrapped in the love of the congregation and youth and given the strength I needed to survive this ordeal.  God is good all the time.  Thank you Evan!