Something EVIL this way comes

Just like "Joan moments", evil was something I knew existed in the world but never felt like I had seen it face to face.  I've heard people say "The devil is strong, the devil has hold of that person, the devil is at work in him."  And like a lot of other things I would smile, shake my head and mutter under my breath something about "nutty" or roll my eyes.

I know now there is evil in this world and I have seen the work of the devil and felt his impact.

We've all seen horror movies and have our idea of what we think evil looks like.  Those sith things from star wars are pretty close for me.  But in my fave Joan of Arcadia episodes, when she comes face to face with evil, she feels it and doesn't know why...but something doesn't feel right...God tells her evil isn't the face we think...it is smooth as silk, a smooth tongue that is charismatic while lying and twisting .  It isn't the evil sith it is the smooth one we should be wary of.

I have seen the devil up close and personal and seen his work in people I thought were good and Christian.  God tells Joan he has helped her to be strong to take on this force of evil and I believe God has led me to this place to see my strength as I come up against evil.  The devil is strong but God is stronger.

What does God ask us to do?  Funny our sermon today was about what the Lord requires of us (Micah 6:1-8):  To seek justice..(how often do we sit back and watch evil take place, destroy lives, and say nothing?) love kindness (it is hard to be kind in the face of evil and injustice...I need to work on this one) and walk humbly with our God.  I will gladly let him lead the way.

Step out against the evil in this world.  Even if you are standing alone. God has helped to build your faith so you can take that stand.  I've heard people say...I want that devil to say when I jump out of bed in the morning, Oh no...it's her...Look out devil I am coming for you!!

A Mother's Prayer for her children

I love this prayer from "Every Day I Pray" by Iyanla Vanzant...I took the liberty of changing children to sons.  My blog last night made me melancholy.  I love you Nick and Justin.

Dear God
Thank you for trusting me with the tasks and duties of being a mother.  Thank you for the blessing that my sons are in my life.  Thank you for establishing a bond of love between me and my sons that cannot be broken, that is life sustaining, that is whole and holy.
Thank you ,God, for blessing my sons.
I pray that you will always bless their minds to be clear of all shadows of doubt.  Bless their hearts to be kind.  Bless their dreams that they may be fulfilled by your grace.
Thank you for sustaining my sons through the difficult experiences they will face in this life.
Thank you for writing your will and your ways upon their hearts and for calling them into remembrance in times of need.
I pray that you give them courage.  Give them strength! Give them a mind and a heart to do what is good and peaceful.
Thank you, God, for loving my sons even more than I do.
I pray that you love them when they feel hurt.  Love them when they feel fear.  Love them when they are not strong enough to love themselves.
Thank you, God, for protecting and guiding my sons when I am not around.
I pray that every good thing I have done for them stays present in their minds and fills their hearts.  That my words and deeds serve as good examples to them and for them.
Thank you for providing every need, fulfilling every dream and purifying every desire that my sons may have.
Thank you, God, for not turning your eyes away from my boys.
Thank you for their health and strength.
Thank you for lifting them above harm and steering them away from danger.
Thank you for  the coating of loving light and protection that encircles them wherever they may be.
Thank you, God, for your promise that a mother's prayer for her children will never go unheard or unanswered.
For this I am so grateful.
Amen

my boys

I can not say enough about my boys...through this whole ordeal they have been the adults...I always say I must have done something right or they raised me right I'm not sure which...I had a God moment with my son Nick.  In April of 2009 he came to my husband and I and told us he had the opportunity to take a job in the state of Washington and wanted to know what to do.  He was struggling and wanted our advice.  I am a person who has always believed in bettering yourself and understand the drive he has to do so but also knew he didn't want to leave family.  In the end he turned down the job and kicked himself for it for months...he just felt the time wasn't right.  Four months later my marriage fell apart and he and Jennifer became my rocks.  When I didn't show up at work Jennifer would come over, check on me, turned on those bedroom lights and brought me food...late at night on those bad nights Nick would show up out of the blue.  I could not have survived without their love and support.  Nick always says "I know now why I didn't go to Washington."  Last year, out of the blue the man he had contact with in Washington called him and said...would you think about the job again? We've had one open up...I said "Go" you have been a good son and you are being rewarded...this summer (2010) he and the family had the opportunity to go to Washington .  The kids got to experience it and they found they could live there.  I am excited for this move and once again see God's hand in all of it.  Nick has been blessed for the good deed he did for me...for being a good son.
Remember what God told me in that Kroger parking lot...you are blessed for the good deeds you do...
I  tell the grandkids they can't get rid of me that easily...I will be a perminant fixture by visiting often...I love Walla Walla...and look forward to what the future brings...

Listening

Every morning I stop by Kroger (across the street from my work) usually to buy dog food. Recently, after packing my big bag of dog food I jumped in my car and started the engine...There was a knock on my window...I turned to see an attractive, older (70ish) black woman.  I rolled down my window and she said...Do you know the Lord's Prayer...I said Yes...she said "Pray it"...I was stunned...stammered something about OK and have a good day, I pulled out of the parking spot...I looked in my rear view to confirm I wasn't dreaming or hallucinating!! She was nowhere to be seen...I have learned to listen and I prayed...our father, who art in heaven....all the way to work!!  I am learning something Lord...I am learning to be quiet and listen.

Forgiveness...heck no!

I enjoyed Solomon Island a lot...while there I struggled with forgiveness...how can I forgive? I teach kids about God's love...shouldn't I show them how to forgive? It was a struggle all weekend...every morning I would walk a couple of miles...on Sunday morning I threw in clothes to put over my workout clothes and headed to a tiny little white Methodist church on the water.  It was a congregation of older people..who all came over and welcomed me...and the service began...during the sermon (which was about being in awe of God) a voice came from the back of the church that said..."I want to talk about forgiveness"..i froze...the preacher stopped and said "OK lets talk about it" and they did and all questions he asked were questions I asked myself and had been struggling with all weekend...

the minister talked about how forgiveness helps us to step out of the way and lets God do his work...when we don't forgive there is a barrier between that person and God...and that barrier is us...i cried the entire service...when I had the chance to look..the person in the back was a beach bum who looked like he had been out all night...and a friend of his...as I was leaving the church that day there were lots of older people crowded around the fellow and he was saying...I don't know why I came in here today...but I knew why...I immediately texted my ex Mark and said "I forgive you"...and my life turned a corner that day...i knew I was going to be OK...i knew God had plans for me and I knew God needed me to forgive...do I feel forgiving every day...heck no!  There are still times when the hate is powerful...but it is different...there is peace in my life and in my heart...I made sure I sat down and wrote a letter to the pastor so she would know the impact she and her congregation had...i always think would Greg stop a prepared sermon to answer a question from the congregation and i think he would and i hope our congregation would embrace such an interruption...

God was with me in my struggles...there is NO DOUBT...God has walked with me...and let me know it too!! I tell the kids I have learned to pay attention...and watch for God...he is real and he is here!!

Boston

There is more...August 26 was the anniversary of my finding out about my marriage so I decided I would go to Boston...I have always wanted to go there so this was the time!! I planned for months...booked a hotel room...planned places to visit...and then I met Robin...(Robin now you know how you brought about this change in my life!! I've always meant to tell you...thank you)..she turned me on to geocaching and if you know me you know about that...on one of these geocaching explorations she talked about Solomon Island, MD...and talked about her family's unexpected stop there and how they loved it...so peaceful..which is what I needed "peace".  It would pop up whenever I would go online to look at Boston...I would I would end up at Md...so at the last minute...one week prior to, I cancelled my reservations and went to Solomon Island where I had a "God moment" so I knew God had a plan that I didn't know about!!! Come on back tomorrow for the rest of the story...have you noticed how God has placed people in my life? All types, all ages but all Christian...from Evan to Lora to Robin...wow!! He knows what I need when and who I need to get me through...thank you Lord!

the blessing

After that ah ha moment...my friend Lora said to me...you have to find that blessing...and as you know you can find anything on the web.  So I started searching...remember the only word I remembered was something that sounded like Marakesh (as a kid of the 70's sounded like "Marakesh Express") so I went looking for anything that was close. What did I find? A blessing for a troubled heart....was that on target or what? I was blessed by the Lord or my special guardian angel...either way...I'll take it!!

kroger parking lot

So the story continues....135 kids at a lock-in at church..and we run out of pop about 1:00 am...so i took off for Kroger..not a soul in the parking lot...i went inside...every time I rounded a corner with my shopping cart I would run into an older gentleman...nice looking with gray hair...we would laugh about being the only people out...when it was time to check-out he was behind me in line...

The cashier asked what I was doing with so much pop to which I replied...all the kids at church, come out and join us...the older man was behind me in line and he laughed and talked about having so many kids he couldn't count them and so many grandchildren, too many to count...to all of this the cashier and I had several smart remarks. He told me to wait and he would help me out...

He had credit card issues so I went on to my car...as I was loading my car with soda he came and we talked...he said "I've never been to a church only once, because I am Jewish.  I go to synagogue, he said.  We talked about how Christianity is based on Judaism and he told me "you have been blessed for the good deeds you do".   He talked about being Jewish and as he left me he said words over me that were in a foreign language...I laughed and said " I hope that was good" to which he replied "you've been given a Jewish blessing" Of all of those words I only remembered something that sounded like Marakesh...

He got into a beat-up blue pickup truck with a large air conditioner in the back end...I looked to see where he was from and there was no license on the truck.  He was parked right beside me. 

I thought no more about the encounter until Sunday at church.  Our Sunday school lesson talked about Abraham who was given the promise of so many children he would not be able to count them.  This is when the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.  Later at service Greg's sermon talked about Jesus being a good Jewish boy to which I stopped and wondered, could it be?  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  In my darkest moments God was with me.  Physically he was with me..he was telling me...I am here.  I truly believe that night I met God face to face.  Tomorrow more on that Jewish blessing.

the letter

OK...so i have to share with you...i have struggled about posting the letter I received last year around the first of January 2010...but I felt you needed to know where I was coming from...the mind set I was in...it was an awful letter that talked about what a horrible person I was...how there were two faces to Ms. Kim...the face at church loving and kind and the nasty, mean person I was outside of church, who talked about my ex husband Mark like a scumbag...how I was turning the young people at church away from God..i quote"the nasty words of hate and anger pouring from your mouth.  Your hatred is becoming well known"....it crushed me...first the betrayal of my husband and now the betrayal of  my church.  I can laugh now ....but then it made me physically sick...i threw up after reading it...it was hand written with no signature (of course) and no return address (of course)...with a clearer mind now I realize there were only about five people at church that even knew my situation...and I knew I had the love and support of those people...there are still some people at church that don't even know I got divorced...
You know how this blog is about those God moments...I just got ready to post the letter and it wouldn't attach...no matter how I tried to save it or attach it...I save it because I do read it every now and then...I gauge myself against it to make sure I am none of the things it says I am..this entire blog is about God moments...and since I struggled with posting this letter...I think I am being told STOP...just know the next part of this story is based on how low I was at this point in  my life...the letter came on Thursday night and on Friday night there was a middle school overnight at church I was working.  i really didn't feel like being around ANYONE let alone 130 middle school kids!!

Joan moments

So Joan of Arcadia has what my kids and I call "Joan moments".  When God tells Joan what to do and she fusses but does it anyway resulting in something good or insight into something....Now before i started on this journey if someone had told me they had a "Joan moment" in real life I would have smiled nicely and thought to myself "a little wacky" even though I always believed in God and considered myself to be a Christian.  But I am here to tell you that I have had "Joan Moments" and come face to face with our Lord.  The first time it happened I paid no attention and if I had not gone to church that Sunday probably would not have realized what had happened to me...I must say now...I take nothing for granted...God is in the thick of it all and I watch for him now!!! OK so you are just like me...reading this and saying to yourself..."she's a little wacky" but I invite you to continue visiting this blog and reading day after day and you can make your own call...but I know that God has walked right beside me through this past year...making his presence known...you know the scripture says " just ask" (kids I think that is from the book of James, which if you remember is my favorite!) James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."  This past year I lacked wisdom but I knew enough to just ask.  It starts with a letter...which I will share with you next time and I must warn you.. it isn't a nice letter.  It was sent to me by who knows...but it made me question me and it made me question God. In the end it brought God face to face with me.  So looking back on it...I can honestly say, what started out as a way to hurt and degrade me turned into a blessing from God...I will repeat...every time I was at my lowest this past year...God was at his highest...something good always came from something bad.  And I am wise enough to praise and thank him for that.

joan of arcadia

During the summer months at our youth Sunday school class we feature movies that kids can relate to...In 2009 we did the first season of Joan of Arcadia (TV show) and the kids loved it...so this year we did season two.  I said this season was written just for me.  It was no accident I was there listening.  If you have never seen Joan of Arcadia, the concept is "what if God was one of us" (sounds like the theme song) and God comes to Joan and asks her to do things...but this season things happen to Joan and she has to rely on the strength and relationship she has established with God...things like her best friend is murdered,  her dad is tempted to have an affair, mom is struggling with her own faith, Joan is struggling with her relationship with God and with her boyfriend, and at the end of the season Joan is betrayed by her boyfriend when she finds out he is sleeping with someone else and she confronts evil...face to face with evil...wow! When she struggles God holds her, physically holds her and hugs her and there were many times I felt just like that, too and there are times she yells at God and says "Why did you let this happen?" and I felt like that, too...she tells God...this isn't fun, this isn't right...and he/she says...i know but you all have free will...I can not intervene but I am here to pick up the pieces...it was so on target for me and I needed to hear every word of it!! It also made me realize God speaks to us in oh so many ways...if we are willing to listen...I hear you Lord...LOUD AND CLEAR!!! i will be happy to loan you any season just let me know!!

The phone call

After finding out about my marriage I took a 2 month leave of absence from my position as a youth director at Cross Lanes United Methodist Church.  One of the hardest things for me to do was walk back into a church...i couldn't walk back in the front doors for some reason...I felt dirty, used and just sad.  I had a great friend in Lora who took over my duties for me and she and the kids would constantly send me cards but I could not get up the courage to go in the doors.  One night I received a call from one of the youth, Evan, that asked me to come to a youth event several Friday nights in the future.  Only because of that call did I walk back into my church.  It was my first step toward recovery...between the time of his call and my return I found out my husband had not quit seeing his girlfriend as he professed, my youngest son got married amid the turmoil and I asked my husband to leave our house...what trauma.  That call was imperative...sometimes we are called to do something and we don't act on it...We hear a voice that says send so and so a note or call someone.  I am here to say DO IT...you never know the impact your action may have on that person.  Evan and I've had several emotional conversations about the call he made and the impact it had on my life. By returning to church I was wrapped in the love of the congregation and youth and given the strength I needed to survive this ordeal.  God is good all the time.  Thank you Evan!

not about me

This is not about my ex...this is not about me...it could be juicy if it was...but...this is about God and how I saw him through this journey I have taken.  It has been 1 year since my divorce but 1 and a half years since I found out that my husband was having an affair.  The pain is so intense, the pain is constant...I don't think I could ever describe in words how it makes you feel. Drop to your knees and pray you do...and trusting God is the toughest thing...all of the trust you had has just been blown out of the water.. at first you feel how could God let this happen to me? I am doing what he has called me to do...I thought...but as you come through the darkness and out the other side you realize God was with you throughout this journey. The poem about footprints is so true because there were times he carried me...and held me as I cried and kicked my butt when it needed to be kicked...I laugh when I envision God giving me a good talking to!! I now know he has quite a sense of humor too...oh the little dog he brought to me...and a male dog to boot!...i will later talk about Joan of Arcadia and our summer youth Sunday school but there are times when God hugs Joan during tough times...and that is how I felt many times God's touch and God's hug...his love is unconditional and undeserved...but we get it anyway! That is a yea God!!

introduction to me

January 18, 2011
My name is Kim McHenry.  I am the survivor of a recent divorce that stunned me and was totally unexpected.  During this time I prayed and God became my constant companion and confidant.  As a youth director at a local church and a Christian my entire life I questioned all that I was doing and how could God  let this happen to me? Someone who thought they were doing his work... but through it all my questions were answered and every time something bad  happened or something would knock me down... God would be there with something good that would pick me up and put me back on my feet.  I was recounting my "God moments" with someone at work recently and she said "Kim you HAVE to write those down and share them."  I have always wondered what God had planned for me when this was all said and done and maybe this is what it is...sharing the realization I know there is a God. We have come face to face. I know he was with me every step of the way and after you read my posts you will believe, too! Over the next few months I will share my God moments with anyone who wants to read or anyone going through a really tough time and wants reassurance that God is with them. So come back and visit often!!