Monday, June 27, 2011

taking a big step

Ok...so the time has come to take a big step.  There is a date in sight and this sucks!!  Talk about a nervous wreck...I am one. 
After 35+ years to have a first date again...YUK!  Thank goodness my boys are not too far away from first dates!  And the daughter-in-laws too.  They are full of advice...what do I wear?  My hair needs cut...yikes I am chewing my nails...Should it be a lunch?  Should it be a dinner? Should I make the arrangements or let him? Who said this was fun?

Thank goodness I think he is a little more experienced than me.  Does that mean he is a player and I should run far and fast?

My mother actually told a friend the other day about me meeting this guy online and we were going to meet...How does my mother know these things?
Who told her??  She does make things up maybe she made this up, too!!

When I started this blog it was all about divorce and the heartache and emotional ups and downs...this is an entirely new rhelm which I don't know how to handle or if I am ready to handle.

I guess I will go with the flow and see what happens.  I have known and asked through all of this for God to provide someone that can take me as I am and love the person I am...and my favorite bible verse that continues to come back to me over and over (everytime it does my friend Lora looks at me and says "Listen to this!!") is "Be still and know I am God"...and if you know me I am pushy and it is hard for me to stay still and let God take charge...but I am determined to do just that!!

In the meantime, my beautician is out of town for two weeks and I need a haircut!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

dog fights



While I was gone on the mission trip my mom came to babysit my five dogs.  I worried about her and the dogs... but Jennifer, my daughter-in-law was with her until Tuesday.  So, she had them from Wed through Friday alone.  I talked to her several times and all seemed good.  Then!!! All hell broke loose.  She called as I traveled home and said "there has been a bad dog fight and Vena can't get up".  It was instant panic. Vena has been having trouble walking lately.  Will this be the end?  Will I need to decide if the time has come to put her down?  All of those thoughts raced through my head.  I told her where there was some pain medicine and to give her several.  She called minutes later to tell me Vena was up and walking. 

The dogs have been lazy today and moving very little.  All of them have been scratched, bitten and are walking slow and some are limping.  What comes over them?? These dogs see each other every day.  They live together night and day.  They eat and sleep together.  What happened? Today they are licking each other's wounds and I think...you did this to her!!

It is like they've been nice as long as they can and they snap.  They are like kids...it was all in how she looked at me!  I was barking at the rabbit and suddenly she was barking at MY rabbit....then teeth and growls and snaps and snips.  Mom said it went from the family room to the kitchen to the studio/dining room.
All the while she was smacking them with a book trying to break it up.

Wow!! I came home three hours after the event and there was still growling and pacing. I don't know if they are trying to decide who is in charge...but I can tell them that answer! ME!

Dog fights happen to us, too!  We see people every day and one day something just snaps and that's it...we say things we shouldn't, we snip and snap! Sound familiar?  God tells us to forgive...but that's my rabbit!! The next time I need to forgive...I will think of dog fights...it will make forgiving easier!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

take a step

This week was spent in Chicago with 23 young people.  I was on a mission trip with the youth of our church.  We stayed in Albany Park near North Park College's campus on the north side of the city.  During the day we worked with kids at a local community center.  I personally worked with kids aged 4-5.  Most of them were Latino and spoke both English and Spanish.  I know very little Spanish but I asked them to teach me.  They did.  Every time they ate something or picked up something I would ask them what was the Spanish for this...and they would tell me and from that time forward I would try to use the Spanish word.   Dog is perro...They were the most well-behaved children I have ever met.  We went with them to the zoo and they listened and followed directions.  At the zoo during lunch I witnessed one little girl sharing her Oreos with the other kids by breaking them apart and giving each child a half of the Oreo.  I always get back so much more than I give on mission trips.  The best part of the trip is an immersion into the homeless population of the city.  The kids are given two dollars each and they are given a map.  They go into a part of the city and must find dinner for the two dollars and find a place to stay for the night and where they would take a shower.  They have a list of questions they must find the answer to. 



We met Ronnie.  A homeless man with no family who has lived in Chicago since he was 5.  I am always amazed the stories that are shared and how the kids react.  The kids must walk up to a homeless person and ask questions.  Do you know how hard that is.  I was amazed as I stood and watched at how people avoided the kids while they talked to Ronnie.  The kids and he were invisible.  We are all a day away from homelessness.  Ronnie talked about just living day-to-day.  His job is to make it through another day.  That sounds like many of us...just make it through. I always come away embarrassed by all I think I need.  All we need is a roof over our heads and a meal to eat...just like the homeless.  I have added to my daily prayer list all of the homeless in the nation.  Please pray for them.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

peers

It feels soooooo good!
I know we should not feel too proud or too boastful but for once....I feel all of those things and more.  I work in an agency within state government that was consolidated from many agencies.  We came together with a lot of negativity and hard feelings.  There are people that still hold grudges and try really hard to undermine the work we do.  People who in the past I thought were friends.  It is sad and I pray constantly for the situation.  I have said over and over here that I LOVE the work I do.  I see the good things that are produced and come from our office.

I could go on and on about how administrations have changed and with every one comes change as welll.  This administration could care less and has no direction.  The last knew exactly what they wanted and we had almost too much direction.  I know there is a happy medium somewhere out there.  With no direction comes no consistency and no unified message about the state.  It is sad to see these agencies not do their best work.

Oh well...we can't make a horse drink can we!!

Last night my work team was honored for the good work we do and we do great work.  We were awarded at our local  PRSA awards dinner a total of 11 awards.  We were playing with the big dogs in our state and we were passing them in many instances.  It was awesome!!  I have always known I work with award winning people but don't think they always believe that about themselves.  Last night everyone else in the public relations, advertising and marketing community knew it too!!  We even won the overall "Best of" along with one of the better known  agencies in the business.  It was an awesome night.

We are told over and over by our agencies we work with how we aren't good enough.  We don't do it well enough and this is when you want to scream...oh yea!!!

Nehemiah 6:9
They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed." But I prayed, "Now strengthen my hands."

People don't want you to shine.  They don't want you to succeed.  I don't know why they feel so threatened.  Years ago I found this great little book called "The Message of Leadership" how to be a leader based on the book of Proverbs.  The wisdom is Godly and I try hard to live by it turning my back on evil and always working hard and trying to do the right thing no only in my life but in business, too.  I think for the next few days that is what you will hear from me.  It is never too late to turn that attitude around !!

I know today I will go back to work and it will be back to the grindstone but for a few minutes I am basking in this great feeling of  JOB WELL DONE!!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

the future

I had a wonderful mother-in-law.  We were friends more than "in-laws".  I always tell everyone...she taught me how to be a good mother-in-law.  She would drop everything and watch my kids...she practically raised my kids when they were younger as I worked on my career.  My kids have great memories of time spent with Grandma McHenry. 

This weekend was spent with my mom and family...the nephews and their wives and my youngest Justin, Sarah and little Lilah.  My daughter in law, Jennifer and Nick's kids were there.  Nick was the only one missing. It was a wonderful weekend.  Full of family and fun.  On Sunday morning we suddenly realized it would be awhile before we would all be together again with Nick and his family leaving. It suddenly became a sad weekend.  After everyone left I walked out onto the porch to find my grandson Zack sitting on a bench tearing up.  He said "I'm sad".  He adores his Uncle Beep and I think it just hit him it may be a long time before they see each other again.

Jenn and the kids and I have been together for almost a month.  I think we've done pretty good...no major meltdowns...we both cook for everyone one day a week.  We give each other our own space and she doesn't complain about the dogs!! We have probably become closer.  I asked her last night what she has learned through this (Nick has been in WA about four months already) and she said, "I can do it, on my own..."  I always think of the young, quiet girl that came to us and look at the strong, confident young lady she has become and hope we've had some part in helping her find her voice and her strength. 

I also hope I am one of those mother-in-laws (like mine was) you are always happy to see and never mind them hanging out with you for awhile.  I remember so plainly how great it was when mine took the kids and gave me alone time and I try hard to always do that for Jennifer.  A mother-in-law can be a friend and I hope I always am to her.  I always think of the ideal mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the bible...Ruth and Naomi (Ruth is a shortened version of 'retut', which means ‘lovely friend’.) I love the line in the story...where you go, I will go, your people will be my people and your God my God. 
I hope Jennifer and I can say that about each other.  I know I can.  Love you Jenn.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

SEX can't get away from it

Just when I think I am over it all...back it comes...even my bible dwells on it...sex...when you are cheated on your view of sex takes a turn.  Your husband did that with someone other than you.  That personal, intimate act of love has been destroyed. What a slap, what a knife in the heart, what sadness that brings...and you can't get away from it...to think the root of all of it was sex...

The scripture reading for my Disciple class has been about harlots and whores for the past 8 weeks.  Comparing Israel straying to a harlot that woos.  See there it is.

As you know I listen to Joyce Meyer ever morning on my way to work...she mentioned something good to do is read the proverb of the day of the month.  I started on June 5 and read Proverbs 5...I stopped after the 7th and you'll see why.  It just keeps bringing it back...the SEX that led to adultry.
June 5
Warning Against Adultery
 1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
   turn your ear to my words of insight,
2 that you may maintain discretion
   and your lips may preserve knowledge.
3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,
   and her speech is smoother than oil;
4 but in the end she is bitter as gall,
   sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
   her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 She gives no thought to the way of life;
   her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.
 7 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
   do not turn aside from what I say.
8 Keep to a path far from her,
   do not go near the door of her house,
9 lest you lose your honor to others
   and your dignity[a] to one who is cruel,
20 Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife?
   Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?
 21 For your ways are in full view of the LORD,
   and he examines all your paths.
22 The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them;
   the cords of their sins hold them fast.
23 For lack of discipline they will die,
   led astray by their own great folly.

Proverbs 6
Warning Against Adultery
 20 My son, keep your father’s command
   and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always on your heart;
   fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
   when you sleep, they will watch over you;
   when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For this command is a lamp,
   this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
   are the way to life,
24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,
   from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.
 25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
   or let her captivate you with her eyes.
 26 For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread,
   but another man’s wife preys on your very life.
27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
   without his clothes being burned?
28 Can a man walk on hot coals
   without his feet being scorched?
29 So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;
   no one who touches her will go unpunished.
32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense;
   whoever does so destroys himself.
33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
   and his shame will never be wiped away.

Proverbs 7
Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning;
   let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
19 My husband is not at home;
   he has gone on a long journey.
20 He took his purse filled with money
   and will not be home till full moon.”
 21 With persuasive words she led him astray;
   she seduced him with her smooth talk.
 24 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
   pay attention to what I say.
25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways
   or stray into her paths.
26 Many are the victims she has brought down;
   her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is a highway to the grave,
   leading down to the chambers of death.

I decided to stop this Proverb reading...And it goes on and on and on...even God seems to be filling my ear with sex....and the evilness of adultry.
You live through it and it just keeps coming back...you can't get away from it.
I am trying to get the message here...but right now I'm not sure what it is.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

dogs in heaven

As  you know...I have dogs...five of them to be exact...with Jenn and the kids came Sam too...Sam is their dog...it is amazing to me how a dog can fit in but Sam does...he is going to go home and will have to be deprogrammed...he now drinks out of the toilet, he runs through the yard like a crazy dog...he eats at 5am with my girls and again at 5pm.They are in such trouble.

There have been very few dog fights...My five dogs that live together all the time will occasionally fight.  It just amazes me when they do...it is like they've put up with each other as long as they can and now the fur flies...and there can be blood...they scare me when they fight...and it is always the same ones...Binkie and Freckles...they must know each other's buttons...and which ones to push.  That just makes me laugh to think they have such personalities!! 

I always think they have voices...and I think Freckles is that kid that just picks and picks,and runs her mouth constantly...blah,blah,blah...and Binkie is the one that says...ok...I'll take you on big boy...come on, a dog in the hood...then they go at it...and of course all of the others then have to jump into the fray....Sissie is the me of the dog world...she goes with the flow...her favorite word is Whatever!!

My dogs all have personalities just like we do...they give, they take, and usually go with the flow but every once in a while they can't take it any more...

I am watching my oldest dog, Vena, age and she is aging quickly.  It makes me sad.  I know she has had a great life thanks to us.  She was the dog I stole from neighbors (they were mistreating her) and am proud of it.  She is the matriarch of this brood.  She gets up whenever anyone moves and walks with them.  At night she is now unable to get up...her legs go out.  As a shepherd she has a spine issue that will eventually make her unable to move.  She has an infected tooth right now and I need to get her to the vet but I hate to traumatize her.  It is so painful to watch her deteriorate. 

We just read the book "Heaven is for Real" for our book club and the one thing in which I found great joy.. when the little boy described heaven... there were puppies and animals everywhere.  It brings me joy to think God loves puppies as much as I do!

Monday, June 6, 2011

wisdom

Don't you wish you had it? 

I heard this quote the other day and thought...I get it!

"Wisdom does now what it will be satisfied with tomorrow."

Sometimes we jump too fast.  We react without thinking without looking at the ramifications of something.  We just react.  We don't think things through.  Now to me the opposite is true, too...sometimes I think things too much.  I look at everything that could possibly happen and spend so much time doing that I lose the opportunity to do anything.  That is in my personal life!!

Remember the wisdom of Solomon in the bible?  The baby that both women wanted? So to see the real mom Solomon said...OK, we'll cut the baby in two.  Real mom says...NO!!!

I have always said one of my strengths at work is that I can make a decision. If an instance arises...I can decide right now what needs to be done...it may be wrong but I can make a decision now....that is at work...

I have been contemplating starting to apply for jobs outside the area...a major life change...can I do it?

I just pulled my scripture for the day and it is from Psalms'....God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 46:1

Maybe wisdom is to rely on God for help in this.  I've learned over the past few years to just ask...so I am asking...what to do?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

tranquility base here!

It is amazing to me...the way I feel today verses two years ago .  Tranquil is something I didn't know.  I walked on egg shells.  I never knew where I stood...what I had done wrong...what he was mad about this time...how stupid I was...If you would have asked me two years ago for one word to describe myself tranquil would not be it.  Nervous might have been a good one.  Today if you would ask me I could see how someone might say "Tranquil" . 

My boss gave me one of those little rocks that say something and mine said "Tranquility". 
I had a major meltdown on Friday night...one of those times when I question all of it...why it happened...what did I do? Nothing made sense.   Next day, I was back to myself.  I sometimes think it is hidden deep down inside and I never know when that volcano will blow. 

As Nick always tells me...they are fewer and farther between.  That is true.  There is more tranquility between them.

I checked out the dictionary for the word's meaning, see if it fits!
free from commotion or tumult; peaceful; quiet; calm:
free from or unaffected by disturbing emotions; unagitated; serene; placid: a tranquil life.
 
That's what comes...a tranquil life...that's what I strive for...

fish and fellowship

Yesterday was our church picnic.  This is the first picnic we've had in probably ten years.  My friend Lora did all of the work...we just showed up and helped...there were about 80 people and it was all about fellowship....

Afterwards Tom sent us all a scripture...Romans 5:12:  so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. That scripture came to life tonight.

Tonight I watched my grandson be taught how to fish by two men of the church which just warmed my heart...Dave and Dave both became Dave #1 tonight in my book.  They put meal worms (creepy little things with legs) on  his hook, taught him how to hold his pole, they took his fish off when he caught one, cheered for him and untangled his line many times all lovingly.  He was content to sit on the bank and just fish.  I sat back and watched.  This is the same child who freaks when you leave him some times and when I decided to walk back to the shelter and get a drink he said...go on grammy I think these guys will watch me.  And I knew they would.  That is fellowship.

 Because he fished he can understand the story of fishing for men, he can understand the fishermen that were disciples...he can understand caring for others.  He can understand someone who isn't related making a difference.  Sometimes we never know the impact we can have on someone.

The bible is filled with images of fish! 
A fish is the oldest Christian symbol. The Greek word for fish, ichthus, is an acrostic for the Greek words that translate to “Jesus Christ Son of God Savior.” The symbol of a fish was used by persecuted Christians as a code name for Christ in order to avoid arrest and execution. When a picture of a fish appeared outside a Roman home it meant that the Lord’s Supper would be observed that night.
The importance of fish in the Bible is well substantiated. In the Book of Genesis, we find that fish are the first creatures to appear (1:2). They are the only species not taken into the ark, suggesting that they were self-supporting! In Leviticus we read of laws regarding which fish are kosher and which are not.
Descriptions of methods of fishing are given in the Book of Habakkuk: a hook, net and seine are used (1:15). In 1 Kings, fish are associated with the wisdom of Solomon (5:13). When Jerusalem was rebuilt by Nehemiah after the Babylonian captivity, a Fish Gate was built into its wall (Neh 3:3). Fishermen are mentioned by Jeremiah, when speaking of bringing back the Israelites from Babylon: “Look! I will send many fishermen, says the Lord, to catch them” (16:16). And a large fish prevents Jonah from going on his cruise of the Mediterranean and lands him back where he should have gone in the first place.
Jesus preached in terms of fishing, almost echoing Jeremiah when he says to Peter and the other fishermen: “From now on you will be catching men” (Lk 5:11). Two miraculous catches of fish are related in Luke 5:1-11 and John 21:1-8). nd men are fed with five loaves and two fish.

All of this Zack will be able to understand because he fished.  I think I will go buy a pole.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

move it!




Have you ever heard the song from Madagascar?  I like to MOVE IT, MOVE IT...I like to MOVE IT, MOVE IT...

This morning while listening to my morning Joyce Meyer session....I was inspired!! She talked about MOVING it!

I perked up when she used the phrase "You can't drive a parked car"...if we hear God talking to us, telling us to do something....we have to MOVE to get it done...we can't just sit and whine about waiting for God to act...he expects us to MOVE it when he gives us direction...

Joyce talked about the man at the well who laid there for 38 years...year after year he missed being there when the angels stirred the water... after 38 years you think he would figure out he needed to get there a little earlier...but instead he whined...every time Jesus heals in the bible he tells the person to MOVE it...to go do something or not do something...but he never says...stay right where you are!!

I love how blunt Joyce can be....and she said...in 38 years I could wiggle closer!!!

After the man was healed Jesus then told him to pick up his mat...to clean up the mess he had made in 38 years...not leave all of that crap behind....and I am sure we all have a mess in our past that needs to be cleaned up once we get moving...
so today...don't be like that man at the well for 38 years, sitting and waiting on God to take action....MOVE IT!!!