I sometimes wonder if God brought this person into my life so I can see what I was like before the divorce. How Mark felt when I never had time for him or our relationship.
We all have hectic schedules. Running our kids here and there. Meetings every night of the week. Being at church whenever there is something going on. Our schedules are crazy. Time is the one thing that people just don't have enough of...we are pulled in a hundred different ways.
I sometimes wonder if I was filling my time so I didn't have to be home with Mark. If I was crowding my life so full of "stuff" so I didn't have to face the pain when I was home. I really believe I didn't like myself much back then...I blame him for some of it but I also blame me for some of it. My weight was out of control...my health was out of control....my relationship was out of control...and my time was out of control.
Do we fill our lives with activities, time "stuff", meetings, schedules...just so we don't have to deal with the real things going on in our lives? When we can't find the time to get with the people and the things that ARE important in our lives then it is time to STOP the stuff and take note!
So, this guy and I have been trying to meet since we met the last time. Two people who are over-scheduled and over-planners and way too much alike!!...needless to say...our calendars are so packed it is really hard to find a weekend...that is bad!
this has the possibility of a being a really good thing and neither one of us can pull ourselves away long enough to let it happen. I think someone is trying to tell us both something! Both of us have been hurt and is this just a way to keep from being hurt one more time?
Thank goodness we have both been praying about it. I hope God, in his infinite wisdom finds a way...it's in his hands...lets see where it goes! If I can find the time I will keep you posted!
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