Saturday, February 19, 2011

be still and know I am God

It is absolutely beautiful here today...sunshine and warm...I was home sick yesterday...I have the crud...today is a new day...so I am cleaning out gardens and my garage.  That is my goal for today.

As I am cutting back butterfly bushes and coughing and hacking I am finding little sprouts of new life.
Awesome....that groundhog was right I think...spring is on the way.

New beginnings...I've had some epiphany's the past few days as I laid in bed and had a movie marathon coughing and hacking...I have decided I need a new job...financially times are tough, I want to leave here soon and it is time to take control.  I have been cruising along long enough...I need to start building...building money, building knowledge and building my self esteem...i always like a plan, I like to take charge, to take control.  I remember telling Aslam that when he asked me to take on children's ministry at the church and he told me...maybe that was why God was calling me...I needed to learn patience and giving up control.  Wow was he every right...but do I ever learn...NOOOO.

I talked to Lora this morning and she told me not to jump when I am angry but to be still and listen.  I told you she always sends me scripture...Today is was Psalms 37:7-9.  It talks about "be still and listen to the Lord...stop being angry...turn from your rage...the wicked is destroyed and those that trust the Lord will carry on".

Why is it so hard to trust the Lord?  I think it is because to me...he is slow...I want it NOW...i want things to happen right NOW! I am not patient. I told you I like control... Maybe that is what the Lord is teaching me...to be patient...I've told you through all of this he has said " Trust me...let me do my work."  Why is that so hard to do...maybe it's the weather the last few days...I don't want to trust, I don't want to stay still, I want to move...

OK...so I will just use all of this energy and clean...gardens, garages, bedrooms, toys...all the while being still and knowing he or she is God.

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