We always laugh at work about those little voices in our head...jokingly...but I am here to tell you there are really voices! I remember Cassell years ago doing a sermon about being a Christian and he said, "Once a Christian, you know when you are doing something wrong because it just doesn't feel right and you hear that voice that says 'what are you doing?' Things are never the same! You can't get rid of those voices once you've accepted Christ!!"...
During this year I have spent many days and nights on my knees praying...I have always felt closer to God on my knees...maybe it is that humbling thing...during those times of prayer I went from one extreme to another...I prayed for my husband and my life back to kill the SOB (something with fire and brimstone would be good)!! I am sure God loved those prayers!! Thank goodness he is a forgiving God!! But remember those little voices?? They were always the same and always said the same thing..."Step away!! Know I am God and let me do my work"..."trust me"....well, if you know me I am a little controlling and all trust was just blown out of the water due to a cheating husband...and it is hard to give up that control and really trust someone else. I know best...but when you are at your lowest you really learn the most...that's when I learned to give it up and know that he is God... I stepped away from everything related to Mark...I cleaned out my house of all things Mark...I need to trust the Lord and not me...looking at that emotional roller coaster i was on that may have been a really really good idea! As I cleaned out my house I also cleaned out myself...I stopped all contact with my family-in-law which was a really hard thing to do...but started to slowly heal. Wow! He does know what he is talking about!!
"Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10...that be still thing is a whole other story!!
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