praise and worship

So today was one of the best days ever...the best...
I finished it off by leading the praise and worship service at church...what a blessing.

You know the scripture the Lord has been throwing at me since about February...Psalm 46:10
 Be still and know I am God.

Right before service I opened an Alive Now booklet to just read and what did I open to?  You guessed it...that scripture...
I want to share with you the poem that accompanied it...Lora...take note...

Midday Prayer
In the midst of my busyness, O Lord,
remind me to slow down and savor each moment
as a gift from you.

As I move frantically from thought to thought, project to project,
remind me that you are a God of abundance, not scarcity,
and there is time enough for all that you have called me to do.

In the midst of worry, anxiety, fear, and discouragement,
remind me, O God, that you are ever-present,
walking with me through times of ease and times of distress.

When I become too focused on my own problems,
remind me, Loving God, that you have called me
to serve the needs of others;
needs that you have uniquely gifted me to fill.

Help me to remember that I am not alone,
that I need to be connected with others who are struggling
for you are the source of all life and strength and peace.
Amen

By Kathy James.
from Alive Now

sad

Today I took the star wars men out of my bathtub.  how sad...as long as they were there so were the grand kids.  It is sad.

Today I changed sheets in the spare room...and when I went to put the new sheets on the bed...there was a little girl sock tucked in one corner and a little boy sock in the other corner...how sad

I watched the movie Marley and me and didn't just cry I sobbed.   I was so sad.

Today was a great day...then it turned into sad.

I got a text from Justin with Lilah pictures...saw dimples...getting happier.

Think I will skype the kids tonight...getting happier.

what happily married women need to know

I went to the grocery store today...after I got my hair cut...and I realized something...married women don't take very good care of themselves...have you ever noticed how many women are overweight pushing buggies?  All of them have wedding rings...they are dressed like they just stepped out of the television and "What not to wear"...it is not always a pretty sight.  I was them at one time.  I was overweight...I never looked my best.  My hair wasn't done all the time.  My legs were hairy.  I only did my fingernails when I thought of it and a nice smelly bath was an occasion.  Now, I do all of those things all the time. 

As I walked through Kroger I tried to pick out the divorced women.  Those that looked a little nicer, smelled a little better, didn't look as harried and it set me back.  Divorced women have more time to take care of THEMSELVES!  There is no man demanding their attention.  It isn't we are looking for a man...we just suddenly like looking nice and we feel good about ourselves and have learned that the hard way! 

I've mentioned a lot the book "Runaway Husbands".  At the back of the book is a last chapter that is entitled:  What Happily Married Women Need to Know.  Unless I share with you...you may not know...so here goes.

If your husband has had affairs in the past or left a previous relationship in a similar way....prediction is..he has what it takes to do it again!

Does your hubby seem suddenly unhappy with his life, even if his complaints are not about the marriage..but may be about his job, the house, etc....it's a sign that he may be rethinking "things".

Do you notice a personality change?  Is he just not himself?  Is he withdrawn or irritable? Does he snap at the kids (or in my instance, the grand kids).  He doesn't want to participate in family activities..

Are his habits changing? suddenly going to the gym? new clothes? gets a tattoo? buys an expensive car? (loses weight)

Are his values in flux? Is he adopting ideas contrary to what he used to think were important? Are his new beliefs baffling to you?

Does he disappear for periods of time? (mine disappeared on lunch hours! nooners!)  His reasons just don't add up?

Does he mention frequently someone at work? innocently, of course?

Is he in a position of power or authority? where young, vulnerable women may look up to him?

All of us women who have experienced husband's affairs can tell you....it can happen to you.  Most of us would have said before this...there is no way my husband would ever...but guess what...it can happen to ANYONE...I really don't know if a decent man exists.

Is there such a thing as a good marriage?  you look around and see many people married for many years... are they happy??...and you never know what goes on within a home...so ladies..take care of yourself ALWAYS...don't wait until something bad happens to put your life in order and take care of YOU...You need to come first.

letters about sex

I haven't mentioned Disciple class lately because I haven't been there for the past few weeks.  I have been so sick...since I got back from Chicago...I can't seem to shake it...Nick says it's hanging out with the homeless who knows what I got...I disagree I got blessed not sick...

Anyway, we have moved on from the prophets of old to the prophet of the new testament...Paul...and I must say I just don't like Paul as much as I learned to like those fire and brimstone, hell and damnation guys...I could relate to them...Paul is a little all over the place...but I continue reading...the one thing I can't get away from is the references to sexual immorality...finally this week I just quit reading...I don't know if it just keeps drill it into my head how wrong Mark was and confirming all I feel or if it is telling me to keep my morals and don't do anything that I would really love to do right about now!!!

Last week it was the Thessalonians...and having been to Thessalonian it made it have even more impact but the first thing he reprimanded them about...sex...If nothing else it has made me realize what a problem it was back them and in the age of the old testament and it sure hasn't changed...it is still something God would be yelling at us about...at least we don't have prostitutes hanging out around our church alters.

I told the church kids about that one day...teens...they love hearing those kind of stories...

So I will keep reading...keep studying the letters of Paul and see where it leads me...who knows...at some point it may say...no...I doubt it!!!

laugh at the anniversary

Next month I will be coming up on my second anniversary of finding out about Mark's unfaithfulness.  It still blows my mind sometimes.  As you know I've been carpooling and Courtney and I have had some very deep conversations about hurt and how someone can hurt you and the pain you feel and how no one knows.  I am trying to decide what to do this year on that date.  Last year I took a great trip and just relaxed.  This year I am trying to decide whether to go back to the same location or go someplace different.

Maybe I will just drive...who knows...instead of the sadness and hurt I felt that first year this has become more of a celebration in how far I've come. The accomplishments achieved and the steps I've taken this past year have been biggies. I can only see bigger and better things happening.  Life changing kind of things!

Wow!! when I think back to those days when I wondered how I was going to get out of bed and I just laugh.  I told Courtney a story the other day about finding out about something Mark had done and I burst out laughing.  She said you are in a pretty good place if you can laugh about that and I realized that I am.

 I just got back from a Board Meeting for Community Development Outreach Ministries and there were things happening that I was so able to contribute to.  I felt like all of the years leading up to this God had prepared me to be in this time and in this place.  It felt good to know God knew the score and had my back.  As I look back over these few years I also know God has brought people in and out of my life...that have led me through these times.  Some are now gone, but they got me to this point.  What an amazing work of art God has created in me. 

Today I can laugh!
I am blessed yesterday, today and always!
I will never forget that!

rejoice again I say rejoice!

You know my morning routine! Drive to car pool site...listen to 15 minutes of Joyce Meyer on the way...her ministry is over around the time everyone gets there to drive to work...this morning I LOVED it!

It was about rejoicing...and how we as Christians only think we are being Christ-like when we are serious and ministering and working...but God loves us and he understands days we need for us!  He is proud of us and wants us to rejoice in who we are!

Several times in the bible God recognizes his son and always says..."Of whom I am well pleased".  Do you think he says that about us?  I am one of those people that gets embarrassed by compliments...I am just doing my job...and I feel like I have to work constantly...a bit of a workaholic...it is hard for me to take time off for me...or time to "rejoice" in myself.  So it is hard for me to think God would be pleased with me.  Maybe I am a bit of a martyr.

It is hard for me to understand he could say that about me!  "This is my child, Kim, of who I am so pleased.??"
I can't imagine...Compliments embarrass me but I also crave them...does that make much sense?
...wow talk about messed up!!

When you aren't loved and built up then I think you crave those things...even though since you never got them it is hard to receive them...my family was not big on compliments ( I knew they loved me)...but they were hard to please and it was always drilled into me to try harder, to be better...why?  I married a man a lot like that family (and his family was a lot like mine) Never good enough, try harder, achieve more, reach higher...you always felt just not good enough...and as a daughter-in-law, their daughters always came first. I remember when things were given to the girls but I was never asked...that's when I realized I really wasn't their "daughter"... Whatever happened to: Are you doing or being the best you can?  That is all that is asked of you.  To be the best YOU can be.

Wow talk about a therapy session!
I always tried to praise my kids...probably OVER did it because I knew the feeling of never receiving praise...I hope they know how pleased I am with them and I hope I have shown them God is well pleased with them too...or is that something you have to figure out on your own? That God loves you right where you are??

Remember to always rejoice...in who you are and in what you do...and rejoice with others on the life they are leading....God does and so should you!!!

unexpected scripture

today I got an unexpected text from one of the youth at church...sometimes they are so wise! and sometimes they don't know I need things when I do!

Now faith is confidence
in what we hope for.
and assurance about
what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

When did they start putting their faith in action?  Sometimes they are better disciples than we adults!!
They amaze me!

Thank you Claire for the much needed reminder to have faith in the Lord...he knows what he is doing....

high heels

I've told you all about sexy undies and new clothes...but one of my biggest things has always been SHOES!!
You know I am a clothes horse...but shoes are my weakness!! Anymore the higher the better...tonight I was treating myself to a new bathing suit (preparing for my beach trip with college friends)...and I saw them! These high heals...cute as can be and high...of course I had to try them on...loved them!!
I used to love high heels...and I stopped wearing them when I got old and fat but lately...whooohooo....
I have found my love of them again...
So I bought one of each color...self treat!

random

I am done with Proverbs but there are some random proverbs that I just LOVE...so I thought I would share...remember these are from The Message Bible...so their message is a little different....

This is one I love....
Proverbs 30: 15-16

A leech has twin daughters
named "Gimme" and "Gimme more".

Working with teenagers I am forever telling them they have to get over the "gimme" syndrome...you are not God's gift to the world as much as you might think you are! (That's why mission trips are so important!  They experience this first hand.)

It is hard for us to believe the world does not revolve around us!  For young people they still have not learned that lesson.  But it is usually during these formative years when they see glimpses of this to be true.  They start to experience failures and difficulties and they are making life choices.  It is so important to show them where they can go to get help with their answers...to get help with those decisions and to turn to God's word for help and to make God a part of their life. 

We may not be God's gift but he is our gift...he is always there for us.

the word that won't go away

I keep telling you about how I am  constantly told by God to be patient and wait on him...he has a plan...and I tell you all the time how IMPATIENT I am...I want it in my time not God's...this is a constant source of discussion with Lora and myself...we both suffer from the same impatience.

Yesterday, John our guest preacher talked about waiting for God...God's time...and today I was leaving the church at lunch and on the church at the end of the street there on their sign it said "Wait on the Lord".

How many times do I have to hear it?
Remind me when I am impatient....ok!

Perfection

This is some of my favorite scripture...it tells me what I should strive for.

Proverbs 31:10-12,28-29
A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
Her children respect and bless her,
her husband joins in with words of praise.
Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all.

Perfection=Excellence
Excellence inspires trust
Trust inspires loyalty
loyalty inspires respect
respect gives you a reputation that follows you everywhere.

I was a child of the 70's.  My mother always harped..."you are known by the friends you keep"..."reputation is important"..."the way you handle yourself will follow you your entire life"

But, I was much too hip and 70's cool...those were old ways!  But you know I just couldn't get away from that advice that kept repeating itself in my head.  In my older age and in this new place I find myself... I realize how important all of those things are.  How you handle yourself in times of trial...how you respond to criticism...how you handle your children during this time and throughout their life...I strive for the attributes of the perfect woman described in Proverbs.  I know I will strive until I leave this earth, none of us are perfect!

filtering

I know we all have issues...and believe me I have some and its funny how most of us know what our issues are.

My newest issue is I filter everything told me and explained to me through the "cheater" and "liar" filter.  People I work with...I listen and filter....people I meet...I listen and filter and come to conclusions...because who can you believe??? New men...they are in bad trouble...they can't say anything that isn't filtered...and they are so easily dismissed...all are liars and cheaters!  I've only met one that I have believed....and I ask myself...you thought you knew the last one...you thought he was honest and would NEVER do anything like cheating...wasn't a very good judge of character were you??  So what makes you a good judge now??

The only people with which I don't have filters are my boys, my daughter in laws, my grand kids and my mom and immediate family.  They are always honest with me, I think.  They are always truthful with me,I think.  There is no lying or cheating with them,I think. No, I know...and it feels good to know there is someone that is truthful with you.

God's word has no lies and God does not cheat me.  His word is truth.  His word tells me what I need to know.  So, I think he's a keeper!!!

those politicians!

So, in the face of all of the CRAP (that is with a capital CRAP) going on in Washington with the debt crisis...this proverb is for the politicians...

Proverbs 25:4-7
Remove impurities from the silver
   and the silversmith can craft a fine chalice; (remove all of those crazies from Washington and maybe something pure will come out of there!all the while realizing we can't all think alike!)
Remove the wicked from leadership (those self centered, me people lining their pockets and those of friends)
   and authority will be credible and God-honoring. (that would be a switch!)

 ^6-7 Don't work yourself into the spotlight;
   don't push your way into the place of prominence. (tea party read this over and over!)
It's better to be promoted to a place of honor
   than face humiliation by being demoted. (maybe this is for the media!)

i watched the news the other day interviewing normal Americans on the street...saying these crazy politicians need to work together...and then the reporter talked to the crazy politicians who said  "No...we have an agenda"  yea...world domination or what??? I have worked my entire career as a public servant...I've seen administrations come and administrations go...and I have watched year after year as buddies and friends get rich off of taxpayers and hard working West Virginians...we may only be here 4 years...so we better line some pockets of those who put us in power and FAST...

I can't imagine what it is like on a national level but it is scary to think it is just like this but on a much larger scale...wow!  What has happened to political debate in this country?  What has happened to sitting down and talking about issues?  My mother swears it is the younger generation getting in office... that "me" generation coming to power...and it will get worse before it gets better...who knows...at some point in time...everyone is going to have to play together or nothing is going to get done...it is called compromise...you give a little...i give a little and don't forget WHO put you in office...the people who are sick of this bickering! 

You will soon know my politics and I should preface this by saying some of my best friends are right wing crazies and Todd bite your tongue that you ever even hinted that I lean that way!!!...I am a flaming liberal...flaming!!
I went to lunch with my ex sister in law the other day...you leave a family for a little while and those crazy right wingers take over...OMG...that conversation stopped before it got started...I bet they now think Sarah Palin is an Einstein!! If Obama had done NOTHING when he took office about the budget they would be bitching because there was NO social security and medicare....and they'd be HOMELESS!! And as a religious person, these religious crazies just give all of us a bad name...it helps their election to be religious so they are today but the entire time I am cheating on my wife ....sounds like some people I know...As Scott and I say at work...at least the Democrats admit to being flawed....and Bachmann is going to pray the gay out of you? (thanks Leslie for that quote!) What? I believe in the power of prayer but I also think God gave us a brain to use not to sit and fester!!  And they are thinking about electing these people to run our country?? What happened to wisdom?

Politics and religion what do they say about it...to get along you just don't mention it...but you have to discuss it and talk about it...in a calm and rational manner....No matter your political leaning we should all be worried about our country and pray daily for our leaders believe me I prayed for George W daily...Remember proverbs and pray that God will show them the way....and remove the wicked from leadership! And purify the silver...Maybe we should all send them scripture to read daily starting with Proverbs!!

it rises and multiplies

So, this morning I had the bright idea to lay out this frozen bread dough that Jenn left in my freezer...then I turned off the air conditioner because I leave the house open so the big vicious dogs can go in and out all day long...It was 97 degrees today...so guess what was in my sink when I got home...a giant pile of raised bread dough...it had split the bag open and was literally coming out of the sink.  I can do some really bright things!!

So I made rolls when I got home...I could live on bread and butter!! Didn't I just talk recently about healthy living?  no more!!!

A friend of a friend (Jodi) was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery this week.  Prayers for her and her family....but time for a God moment!
In the process of putting her on the prayer list at church it made it to a friend of a friend of a friend (Sarah) in the south...I am not even sure where.  She contacted me to see if she could send Jodi a breast cancer ministry bag.  In the process we've talked several times and Sarah told me her story about her ministry.  What a special special lady.  After surviving breast cancer she knew God was calling her to something and while undergoing her treatment she would read her bible and highlight scripture that kept her going.  She now makes comfort bags that have these scriptures as words of comfort to share with those going through a tough time.  We've had discussions about the tough times in our lives and how God is always there and leading us through them...

Sort of like that big pile of dough I had today...(see I can connect the two)...we start with our own misery and pain but God takes it and makes it something good and it grows and grows just like that bread dough..and it is shared with others...and ends up being something really good...like those delicious rolls.

God is good all the time! 

evil choices

I have this proverb under my keyboard at work.  I work with some not very nice people and I need it to remind myself and give me my true north!

Proverbs 24:1-6, 19-24
Don't envy bad people; don't even
want to be around them.  All they think about is causing a
disturbance;
all they talk about is making trouble.

It takes wisdom to build a house,
   and understanding to set it on a firm foundation;
It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms
   with fine furniture and beautiful draperies.

  It's better to be wise than strong;
   intelligence outranks muscle any day.
Strategic planning is the key to warfare;
   to win, you need a lot of good counsel.
Don't bother your head with braggarts
   or wish you could succeed like the wicked.
Those people have no future at all;
   they're headed down a dead-end street.

Every time someone is hateful or every time I am tempted to be hateful and ugly right back.  I lift my keyboard and read. Some people are just bullies...and I am surrounded by some of them.  I watch them, study them and decide what I have to do to NOT be like that.

How does God expect me to handle these people?  Just as he says...don't bother with them.  Don't want to be like them or with them. They stir stuff, they gossip, they talk about everyone else.   Wait...make sure those things don't describe you.  This is a good one to put somewhere within reach...so you can pull it out and remind yourself...it takes wisdom to build a house and understanding to put it on a firm foundation.

falling apart

Proverbs 24:10
If you fall to pieces in a crisis,
there wasn't much to you in the first place.

I just found this in the back of the book I have been quoting from about Proverbs called The Message of Leadership.
People always say you find yourself in a crisis...you rise above it...
And you do...you find what you are made of...strong stuff or not so strong...
You have to move through it in your own way and you don't fall to pieces...maybe for awhile but not when all is said and done.

crosswords

I saw on TV over the weekend....how to avoid Alzheimer's...reach for the crossword...I do it faithfully.  I have an order I do it in...
I do all of the across filling in all that I know....then I do all the downs filling in all I know...then I start the process all over again...no jumping around for me....you do it in an order...
Talk about anal retentive!!

there are several things I am very by the book about...I was telling them at work on Tuesday...I write out all  my wardrobe...for months at a time...what I will wear every work day...its OK for me to vary from my list...I just might feel like it!! but i write it down so I don't wear something more than once in a few weeks...I can usually go about a month and a half without repeating...I have found I really like little dresses all of a sudden...go figure!?!

Other things...fingerprints on light switches and dog slobber on glass doors...drives me crazy...isn't it funny how some things set us off and other things that may be really important to someone else...doesn't matter to us!! How funny we are....

Saturdays are cleaning days...just ask my kids...they would run and hide on Saturdays...I clean from top to bottom...change sheets, change blankets...because I have dogs sometimes I will change sheets several times a week...I am so afraid I will smell like a dog...I am sure I can blame this on my mom somehow!!

whats so funny...when I go see my kids...I don't even notice that...I am usually so excited about seeing them...I don't even notice what anything looks like...I guess that just goes to show we are the only ones that it matters to...I am sure God could care less!  He probably likes dog smells!

now a four letter word for "futile".

things are not always what they appear

Boy don't I know this one!!

Proverbs 23:1-8
 ^1-3 When you go out to dinner with an influential person, mind your manners:
Don't gobble your food,
   don't talk with your mouth full.
And don't stuff yourself;
   bridle your appetite.
 ^4-5 Don't wear yourself out trying to get rich;
   restrain yourself!
Riches disappear in the blink of an eye;
   wealth sprouts wings
   and flies off into the wild blue yonder.
⁸ Don't accept a meal from a tightwad;
   don't expect anything special.
He'll be as stingy with you as he is with himself;
   he'll say, "Eat! Drink!" but won't mean a word of it.
His miserly serving will turn your stomach
   when you realize the meal's a sham.

Don't you  know people who are not what they seem or know people who put on airs?  Try to be something they are not?  Everyone can usually see it....it stands out like a neon sign.  Screaming "I am not what I think I am!!"
I know some people... there is nothing fluffy about them...they are not caring or kind...it is just not in their nature and when they try to be...it is uncomfortable for all involved. 

It is the old Popeye saying "I yam what I yam".   If you are a Christian you will act like one...you won't have to force yourself to act like one...it will come naturally to you...this is another thing we know so well...those Christians that don't act a thing like one!  Those are the ones that turn others off to Christ.  Like someone that professes to be Christian and commits adultery and steals someones husband and justifies it all and sometimes with scripture....yea...real Christ like! (Sorry, but that is my barb for the last month or so!! It fit so perfectly and I haven't said much about them in a long time! Life has moved on but sometimes!)

Sometimes you have to scratch that surface to see what is inside.  What lies underneath is not always the face that is shown to the outside world is it? Life is amazing...and we learn to trust that gut feeling that tells us...things aren't always what they seem.

education

Last night we had an education meeting at church.  It was a productive meeting and we all went away feeling good.  At the end, for some reason, none of us wanted to leave.  An older lady from our church sits on the committee.  She is 82 and tends to say wise things that will bring us to our senses.  Last night after the meeting was over and as we sat and just talked she told us how she and her sister were raised in a children's home.  What a story she had.  We talked about her experiences.  We asked questions and she told stories. 

See the things you don't know about people.  We sometimes think they are old with no history...How sad.

She raised seven children that are all now good and honest members of society.  All turned out well.  She raised them alone...no man around...and she talked about the values and morals she was taught at the children's home.  What a story.

It was inspiring to all of us as we compared her situation to some of our young people today.
You never know what you will learn when you sit and listen. 
We are put here to serve and part of that service is to listen.  You might just learn something new.

anger management

I just heard on entertainment news that Charlie Sheen has a new sitcom called "Anger Management"...imagine that!  This Proverb made me uncomfortable because lately I've had a couple of anger issues arise...
Read it and it comes with a warning:  Warning:  This proverb may make you very uncomfortable.  Warning:  This proverb may make you feel like a fool.  Warning:  This proverb is too close to home.

Proverb 20:1-3
Wine makes you mean, beer makes you quarrelsome— a staggering drunk is not much fun.
Quick-tempered leaders are like mad dogs—
 cross them and they bite your head off.
It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels,
but fools love to pick fights.

I think I am the fool.  Cross me and I will bite your head off.  When I get angry this thing invades my body and words spew from my mouth I don't even know...speaking of talking in tongues!  There are more cuss words in a phrase than actual words.  I don't  get angry too often...it is once in a blue moon...but when it happens...run and hide! 

Like all of us...once it is over I feel horrible...it is a roller coaster....you feel it rise within you and you feel it subside...so why do it?  At work I have learned to shut my door and think before I react.  React in private with the ranting and raving.  So, if my door is closed don't come knocking!  Only talk once you have calmed down. 

But there are times I lose it!  I am thinking about the recent mission trip and I cringe.  It is a mark of good character to avert a quarrel.  Try and talk it out...Don't pick a fight.  It is so easy to fight...to be quarrelsome.  Aren't there some days you are just cruising for a fight...you go picking one.

Uncontrolled anger is not a sign of leadership but a sign of weakness.  You "know" if you can control your anger.  I always feel sorry for people who don't get angry because sometimes only by being angry do things that really bother you...that's when things come out...that is the wrong way...

So think before you open your mouth!

friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuE8lOR7qoc

Last night was one of those two o'clock wide-awake nights...I don't know why or where those come from but during that time there are usually some good movies playing...heard this last night...I dedicate it to all my friends...love you guys!!
Thanks for being there for me always!!
Stormy weather ends but we are always there through it!

down and out

Have you ever been so down and out even your family didn't want to have anything to do with you???
Check out proverbs 19:7
When you're down on your luck, even your family avoids you—
   yes, even your best friends wish you'd get lost.
If they see you coming, they look the other way—
   out of sight, out of mind.

Have you ever been treated like this?  I have...the ex family...they avoid you...they keep things from you...you are the plague to them...they look the other way...they overlook what others do...out of sight out of mind...

I can't say enough.... it is all how you handle yourself in these times of adversity...think of Abe Lincoln...talk about the weight of the world on your shoulders...that man had it...the north hated him and the south hated him...he couldn't win...but he continued...God had given him a purpose...and we as a country are where we are now...because of things he did...

I have no family here...where I am now...I am alone...I don't have a clue where my life is going...but I am holding it steady...and being patient and quiet...and listening for the Lord...he may change my direction but he will not abandon me...I will persist...I will wait until God shows me the direction...so wait with me and we will see what happens!

skype

Tonight I am waiting to skype with the grand kids.  The ones that moved west.  We try once a week to get together and talk...it is great!
I wonder if God uses skype...that makes me laugh when I think about it.
Wouldn't you just die if you were online and you got a skype invite from God....
Just wanted to catch up he said...so you read to him...that's what Taylor does to me!  She reads me a book...she is improving her reading skills.
You tell him about your day...about the sermon Greg preached this morning...you ask if he was right!

Wouldn't it just be neat?  He would be like I am with the kids...A doting Grammy just wanting to spend time and hanging on every word...there is nothing they can say that is wrong! I don't bother them with worries or any tough stuff...just want to spend time...but God would already know all the tough stuff...can't hide it from him...that would make it easy and comfortable...don't have to worry about what you say or how you say it...he would already know.

I would finally know if God was a guy or a gal...wantta vote on that one? 
You know you don't need skype...God will always listen...there is nothing greater than prayer...there is nothing greater than to be on your knees and talking to God.

I will skype any time God...just give me a shout...I will also talk every day...through prayer.

its Sunday

I have found weekends again...you know that day you work like crazy and wear yourself out and then the day you rest and relax...it is Sunday...it is sunny...guess what I'm doing...loving this rest!!

leaders listen

 

Proverbs 18:13-17

13 Answering before listening is both stupid and rude. 14 A healthy spirit conquers adversity, but what can you do when the spirit is crushed? 15 Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights. 16 A gift gets attention; it buys the attention of eminent people. 17 The first speech in a court case is always convincing - until the cross-examination starts!

 

Some days that's all I do.  I supervise 7 employee and on some days I just listen.  They vent, the explain, the reason, they discuss and I listen.  We all need that someone we can go to who will listen.  The person who will stop typing, stop writing, lay down their pen and turn and look you in the eye.  Don't you feel so much better after you get it all out...after you know you have their undivided attention?  Have you ever been talking to someone and they mention one thing and there goes your mind (we call that a rabbit trail in my Disciple class and we go down many of them!)...you are already plotting your response?  That's just not right...you may miss the most important thing that needs said!!

 

A good friend taught me the phrase "If you aren't careful...you might learn something new every day!".  He was right.  If you stop and listen to someone else you just might learn something!! Yesterday I was with some folks and we were talking about smart phones and they were like, we don't need to know about them...they will be a fad for the next few years and then something else will come along...in the next five years their organization (which is already losing clientele) could lose a lot of customers because of that attitude.  They want to appeal to a younger demographic but don't want to embrace the new technology that goes with that generation.   It is amazing...that's how you get OLD!  That's how you become the walking DEAD! and that's how you become STALE!!

 

All I can think of is proverbs...listen and embrace!! Today your challenge is to listen!!

just liked this!

Just liked this and thought I would share with you!

“When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand.”

—  Henri J.M. Nouwen

amen and amends

I should write this entire devotion word for word...it is what I read a lot and need to hear a lot...so listen and take heed!!

Proverbs: 17:1,9,14,17
¹ A meal of bread and water in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.
 ⁹ Overlook an offense and bond a friendship;
   fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!
¹⁴ The start of a quarrel is like a leak in a dam,
   so stop it before it bursts.
¹⁷ Friends love through all kinds of weather,
   and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.

The way we handle things many times reflects the person we are and what we are made of.  As many of you know I have felt as betrayed by my ex family as much as my ex.  We were close, they were my family for 32 years.  My sister in law and I were very close and all of that ended and we have not talked for a year.  On my birthday she emailed and wished me a happy birthday and we talked for the first time.  Next week we are going to lunch with the understanding there will be no talk of her family but we will catch up with mine.  I have missed her, her company, advice and friendship.  I know it will never be the same but maybe we can start from here and find a new friendship. 

Family...through this time what can I say about family that you haven't heard me say?  The boys and I have never been closer.  I have met them as the adults they are...they are the ones who give the advice...they are the ones who come to the rescue and give the love and support.  What would I have done without them? And my family, my mom, my nephews...their support has been constant...Family sticks together in tough times.

As a friend we have the ability to overlook certain quirks...I had a good friend tell me one time...it will be your girlfriends with you at the end.  Sitting at your deathbed and carrying you to the grave.  Friends overlook a lot of the quirks we have!

I read somewhere "It is the one who has been wronged who has all the power: not the one who does the wrong"...Our power comes in the form of forgiveness...it liberates us and helps us to make amends.  Keep me in your prayers next week.

seeing it from above

In the midst of the heat this past weekend...I pulled weeds.  Weeds are therapy to me.  Pulling weeds just makes me slow down and forget everything but "weeds".  I love it!  In the process I also weed whacked up the house onto the roof...In the process I looked down into my garden from above...yuk!

Here you think it looks really good from the front...no weeds...all blooming...but looking from above...there is poison ivy...there is grass blown off lawn mowers...it looks yukky and very untidy.

That's us...sometimes we put on this great exterior but when God looks from above he sees something completely different, something that is rough, nasty and unkempt...huh!

I am afraid of what else God sees from above!

how to get up!

You gotta love proverbs...they sound so "do this" and "do that"...but they are so wise...like today's lesson!
Proverbs 15:10-12 and 14-17 together in one! (The Message)
 ¹⁰ It's a school of hard knocks for those who leave God's path,
   a dead-end street for those who hate God's rules.
 ¹¹ Even hell holds no secrets from God—
   do you think he can't read human hearts?
 ¹² Know-it-alls don't like being told what to do;
   they avoid the company of wise men and women.
¹⁴ An intelligent person is always eager to take in more truth;
   fools feed on fast-food fads and fancies.
¹⁵ A miserable heart means a miserable life;
   a cheerful heart fills the day with song.
¹⁶ A simple life in the Fear-of-God
   is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches.
 ¹⁷ Better a bread crust shared in love
   than a slab of prime rib served in hate.

The school of hard knocks...we've all been there...because of the knocks we get in life we learn lessons...the hard way...Success is easy...we all want to succeed and many times we do and in the process forget how we got to this pinnacle of success...we glow, we strut, we bask in the glory.  It is the failures that are hard to take...those hard knocks...and we've all had them and we all know them...those times you get knocked flat on your face.  You think everything is good...you are cruising along...and wham!  You fail and EVERYONE knows it...you can't hide it as much as you want.  I failed at a marriage...I got knocked down...but you know what.
I got lifted up...God picked me up...dusted me off and taught me a thing or two...gave me a swift kick...maybe not the way I would have prefered but he had my attention...and through this...I found what I was made of...I found what my faith and my relationship with God was made of...and it is strong stuff! I don't want that miserable heart that makes a miserable life...I've been given a cheerful heart filling the day with song!!  What a joy....Have you ever noticed, too...to go up, to be lifted up...we have to be down and down low...failure...that brings a success that is joyful...a success that is peaceful and humbling...you know where it came from and you know who gets the glory....and it isn't you!
Think about being in a role of leadership and what you learn from those hard knocks...those failures...you've learned how to help others succeed.  You learn how to help your fellow life traveler in his or her hour of hard knocks...you know what to say, how to react, how not to judge, how to share and how to nudge.
God is good all the time and all the time...God is good!

time in the wilderness

As many of you know...I listen to Joyce Meyer every morning from 7:30 to 8am...This morning she was continuing to talk about resisting temptation...but she also talked about "how you handle your time in the wilderness!"  I love that thought because I feel like I spent about two years in the wilderness...and I thought how did I handle it...did I do it on my own?   Absolutely not...there were times I was on my knees praying more than I was standing...

She talked about how we can't rely on ourselves and how we have to rely on God.  Do you do that when you are in the wilderness?  Do you look for ways that you can handle things?  or do you give it to God?  As you have heard me say over and over...I always thought I was a very independant woman...I was fooling myself...there was no independance within me...but I have found it only with the help of God.  I have found out what God wants for me...what God thinks is important for me and who is important to me...I was too shell-shocked to recognize or realize any of that...God led me.

How we spend our time in the wilderness is a direct reflection of our faith.  It grows, it gets strong, it thrives....Giving it to God and letting him take the worries and cares is the best thing we can do...he will direct us and show us the way...we just have to step aside and let him...you can't know how you will spend your time in the wilderness until you are there...until you are standing right smack in the middle and don't know the way out....that's when you look up...and kneel down.

criticism

Proverbs 14:1-8

The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. 2 He who walks in his uprightness fears the LORD, But he who is devious in his ways despises Him. 3 In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, But the lips of the wise will protect them. 4 Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox. 5 A trustworthy witness will not lie, But a false witness utters lies. 6 A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. 7 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge. 8 The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, But the foolishness of fools is deceit.

Have you ever been given a bit of constructive criticism?  Maybe by an older person?  I talk about my mom all the time but one thing she does well is criticize.  In my younger years, much younger, teenage, it was unwelcome...but it is funny how many times things she says repeatedly comes back.  She would always tell me...you can tell a lot about a person by the people they surround themselves with.  Working in state government I watch governors and administrations come and go. Some are pitiful...full of political cronies and friends from the home county who have no experience or skills...and it shows in the results of the administration...nothing productive comes from it...and believe it or not...they all aren't like that!! Some governors know what they are doing and get the job done!  Surprise...

After my job change several years ago I had my first evaluation...I have always had perfect evaluations...all excellent...this is the first time I was ever told I needed to improve in some area!  What?  Me?? But I took it in the perspective of this can make me better and it has...sometimes others see things we overlook in ourselves.  Others can see those faults that we can't.  It is hard to hear!  But it is usually good to hear.  We all think we are perfect don't we!!  Well, we aren't...only one came that was and it wasn't us.  

Remember this proverb about the truth, right talk, wise talk, company of fools (do you think this governor should read this!) and remember to build your house up with these things. 

heat and humidity equals bad hair

The minute I walk out of the house.
The minute I open the door.
The minute I take a step.
Why do I bother?
My hair droops...immediately!
I walked into work on Monday...a fellow employee said "You hair looks good today"...I wanted to slap him!  I knew it looked like crap...I hate flat head!  The humidity does bad things to my hair!! Everyone else frizzes but not me...perfectly flat!
Everyone says ...You need product....product makes my flat hair flatter!!
The only thing that will help me is no heat and humidity!!

There are times in our life when we have flat head every day...those days when you want to throw up your hands and say...I give up!! Why bother putting in the hot rollers!  Why bother wearing the heals!! Why bother using the product!! You know those days...we all have them...nothing goes right....we whine all day long...guess what...life goes on...get over it!!

“The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knows them that trust in him.” – Nahum 1:7

He knows bad hair...and he knows flat head...and it doesn't really matter to him!  So it shouldn't matter to me!  So trust him....good days are around the corner!  That product may work one day!!

spit it out

Those proverbs sometimes are a little too close for comfort!

Today's verse is Proverbs 12:13-19
Evildoers are trapped by their sinful talk,
   and so the innocent escape trouble.
 ¹⁴ From the fruit of their lips people are filled with good things,
   and the work of their hands brings them reward.
 ¹⁵ The way of fools seems right to them,
   but the wise listen to advice.
 ¹⁶ Fools show their annoyance at once,
   but the prudent overlook an insult.
 ¹⁷ An honest witness tells the truth,
   but a false witness tells lies.
 ¹⁸ The words of the reckless pierce like swords,
   but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
 ¹⁹ Truthful lips endure forever,
   but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.

Ohhhh, this could be a lament for me.  No matter how hard I try my mouth always gets me in trouble.  Controlling my tongue takes effort!  Lots of it. I blame my mom for that too...she has no filter...she says it even when it is NONE of her business.  My poor brother is almost 60 and she still tries to tell him exactly what to do and how to do it.  But these proverbs also talk about truth vs lies.  When you tell the truth there is never worry ...My church kids know this story about a lie I told probably 30 years ago and whenever we talk about telling the truth they remind me.  The story goes...I was with people I knew from work...we were talking about where we grew  up...someone knew the Elm Grove area and confused what I had said about the creek and thought I meant the other side of the creek was where I grew up...I didn't correct her and just kept agreeing with her.  Ended up she knew people up there and kept asking me was it near so and so...I said yes...that lie just kept growing and growing!  It was huge by the time the evening was over.  It all started so innocent.  It always does!!  People know you by what you say...they know you by the truth you tell...there is so much scripture about what comes out of our mouths!! It is a daily struggle to harness what comes out of it and to use it only for good.

some things you never know about people...

There are some things you don't know about people...and never will...I on the other hand always tell it all! One of my faults!! I will tell you everything...doesn't matter how personal...so here goes!!

I love to lay in the sun...that's why I don't mind cutting grass...I love the long hours in sunshine...I wear as little as possible...remember I told the story one time about my mother...when we were sick as children,  we were told to lay in the sun...this will also explain a lot...my 80 year old mother just bought a string bikini to lay in the sun on her back porch...

So, as you know...I live alone...(except for the big vicious dogs that live with me)...and I have figured out how to lay in the sun...on my back porch...naked!  I can put my chair just back far enough no one can see me, I still catch the rays...the closest house where someone lives is far away...the church and golf course can't see a thing...so I felt very comfortable...FELT!!

Then it happened!  yesterday I was enjoying the rays...basking in the sun!! and I heard the dogs start...barking...in the house...there is a great distance between where my clothes are and the back door of plate glass, the front door, plate glass...there was someone at the front door...a gentleman...Bad Trouble!!
The dogs wouldn't shut up!!! He kept knocking...uh oh!!..Can't hide...car is in the driveway...he may walk around back...bigger trouble.

Now if you know me...I am NOT an exhibitionist...I pretty much cover this body up all the time...I don't show my stuff!...the only thing I have is a beach towel....under me...what do I do? I kept thinking about yesterday at Sunday School...I talked to the kids about making stupid decisions...this was one of mine!! Stupid...Stupid...

I finally scooched up enough to get the towel out from under me...and wrapped myself tightly...It was a neighbor...I cut his grass when I can...he just wanted to say "Thanks"....I too said Thanks!  for reminding me not to do stupid things!!

We always think we can get away with things don't we!! Never...someone is always going to find out!!!God is always watching...you can't hide from God (Jonah story)...God has seen my birthday suit...but the entire world has not...so I have made a vow...from now on it only happens in the tanning bed!

giving

Back to proverbs!
One of the things I always fought about in my marriage was money...he liked to save it...I liked to give it away...I always laughed and said ...If I teach you nothing else I am going to teach you to give...he learned that lesson a little too well!!

Proverbs today talks about generosity:
One person gives freely, yet gains even more;
   another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.
 ²⁵ A generous person will prosper;
   whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.
 ²⁶ People curse the one who hoards grain,
   but they pray God’s blessing on the one who is willing to sell.
Proverbs 11:24-26

What does it mean to give?  I have learned through my money struggles in that first year...God provides...when you are bottomed out and don't know if you are going to make it...an unexpected check comes in the mail...a friend remembers 25$ they owe you...God provides...he also expects you to use it wisely and part of that wise-use is giving it away. 

King Midas was greedy...he wanted gold and asked for everything he touched turn to gold...when he touched the daughter he loved she became gold and he lost the one thing he loved more than money....that's what happens when you love that almighty dollar more than anything.  You may end up with all of the money you want but for what? you've lost your integrity, you've lost your character and all that was important to you...for something you can never take with you. 

If you have been blessed financially...I think you are given a great responsibility...a call by God to show how to spend money to others....to show others how to give and how to give money...you are called to use your money to help those that may work for you...health insurance, overtime, a good wage that will take care of a family...not more money for you but more for all of you...that may be that liberal turn of mine...but it was built on the hard work of many and it should be shared...There is a gentleman I go to church with who is an inspiration to me...his wife told me one time, he worries himself when an employee buys a new car, worrying if he can afford it and that things will remain good and prosperous so it can be paid for.

Being generous is not easy...it is not only money but our time too....to give of ourselves when we are so time starved is a biggie but that is for another day.
Go out today and give $5 to someone who needs it...pay for someone's lunch that doesn't expect it...do something nice for someone...it will make you feel good and maybe, just maybe they'll pass it on.

what's that word

malapropisms : the act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, especially by the confusion of words that are similar in sound.

One day I said to my boss...I had consummated a project...he said "I don't thing so" that means you are having a really good time with that project!

I have this thing...I am always making up song lyrics into what I think they say...not what they actually are:
My kids have always made fun of me!  Mac always made fun of the little kids ditty:  Mares eat oats, does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy....I thought it was mersedos and doesido and little lambsdivey...all made-up and silly-words.  I blame that one on my mom!  She must have that syndrome,too!

This morning at church we sang, I keep falling in love with him, over and over and over and over and over and over again...there is a line about "as the days go by" to me that sounds just like "Dagobah" you know Luke's home planet on Star Wars!  The boy's and my running joke was always in the first Star Wars movie there is a scene...first I should explain my boys grew up sitting in front of the TV watching Star Wars! The best babysitter and they can quote the movie by heart...I know it!...Hans is in the cock pit of the Millennium Falcon and he says to young Luke...don't get cocky kid....we or I should say I always thought he was saying "Go get the car keys, kid!"  Cocky...Car Keys...see I've had this for a time...

I always thought the Hughie Lewis song...I Want a New Drug...was really I Want a New Truck!

There must be a drug for this!!...it makes for some really funny conversations...but you know...we all hear things differently!  I love how my kids will re-tell stories from childhood and it isn't a thing like I remember it!!  Where was I?

That's the thing about scripture too...it is different things to different people...where you are in your walk with God and all going on in your personal life...will put scripture into a completely different perspective...having been through an affair by my husband, cheating, lying and other women...the scripture of the prophets of old take on an entirely new meaning when they talk of these same things in the time of the early Israelites...their woman dealt with the same feelings...their prophets got it... so whatever you need you can find in scripture...I love to show things to the youth they don't know is in the bible...some of the most erotic poetry is in Song of Songs...and usually around Valentine's Day we open our bible...I want them to know where to turn when things are good and when the tough things in life happen.

So don't get cocky kid...run and get my car keys!! Open your bible...

choices and decisions

It is our choices that show what we are made of....JK Rowling

I wish I had said that...I've thought it many times!! Mrs. Harry Potter could have been quoting our proverb of the day!  I remind you proverbs was written thousands of years ago by King Solomon...the wise one...but it amazes me that what was so pertinent than is still what we struggle with today...guess we haven't learned or changed in all that time.

Proverbs 8:12-16
“I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence;
   I possess knowledge and discretion.
¹³ To fear the LORD is to hate evil;
   I hate pride and arrogance,
   evil behavior and perverse speech.
¹⁴ Counsel and sound judgment are mine;
   I have insight, I have power.
¹⁵ By me kings reign
   and rulers issue decrees that are just;
¹⁶ by me princes govern,
   and nobles—all who rule on earth.^[a]

To hit the apex of our careers and for me to get to this age in my life, I've made some stupid choices.  I've done some really stupid things.  We all have.  I heard an explanation the other day for choices...something that we can live with later in our life...so in our decisions and in our life, proverbs tell us what to ask God for  ...wisdom...prudence...that is a really old fashioned word...I had to look it up...of course I was thinking "prude"....not at all...wise in practical affairs, careful in providing for the future...knowledge...and discretion.

But he goes farther and says we have to put it all into another perspective...more to remember...I may never be able to make a decision!! Because the Lord is a part of my life....put it in God's perspective....is it evil or will it cause evil? Is it all about me?  Is the only reason I'm doing it is because I want to? Am I doing it so I can puff myself up and be prideful and be able to say "I did that?"...do I twist it to make it all OK? Do I know it's wrong yet make a ton of excuses to make it right...wow!! those hit home don't they...

Remember this isn't only in my work life but in my personal life as well...just think if we all used this criteria to make decisions.  From our leaders to our kids...we would have no worries...we would always make the right choice.
And we know our choices show what we are made of...just ask Harry Potter.

god wrote a book

by Cynthia rylant
i thought i would share!!


God Wrote a Book

No, not that one.
Everybody thinks He
wrote that one,
but He didn't.
He's a better writer
than that.
Those guys just
went on and on
and did they
bother to edit?
No.
But wouldn't you know,
you mention a name
and you're in.
So they said,
"I didn't write it,
God wrote it."
A sure way
to get out of revising.
But God wrote
His own book.
He wrote it for
one little boy
Just one.
He read it to this boy
at bedtime
because the boy couldn't sleep.
So God read him a book.
The boy grew up.  He became a writer.
Which one?
Not telling.

From the book "God Went To Beauty School" by Cynthia Rylant.

she'll steal your heart

Proverbs: 7-4-10
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
   and to insight, “You are my relative.”
⁵ They will keep you from the adulterous woman,
   from the wayward woman with her seductive words.
 ⁶ At the window of my house
   I looked down through the lattice.
⁷ I saw among the simple,
   I noticed among the young men,
   a youth who had no sense.
⁸ He was going down the street near her corner,
   walking along in the direction of her house
⁹ at twilight, as the day was fading,
   as the dark of night set in.
 ¹⁰ Then out came a woman to meet him,
   dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.

one of the reasons I have loved proverbs for the past few years...it has verified what a fool my ex was!  It gave name to his unfaithfulness and called the two of them what they were.  But with time...I don't care and it doesn't matter.

I have learned to be wiser...to look deeper...to ask for wisdom and insight in my dealings and my actions.  I always remember my lawyer saying...don't crawl in the gutter with them...

Proverbs references illicit sex and loose women more than any other single subject.   So it must be an important subject and must have been for centuries!!  Not only loose women but anything that may steal your good judgement, high morals and bring your life to ruin.  Maybe it's greed or maybe its ambition...think of famous people who have crashed and burned...take the advice of proverbs and my lawyer...Don't climb into that gutter, too!  If you have clear guidance from God, if you read his word and search for his direction you can not be distracted by the gutter along the way.

every move you make

Why is it that phrases always lead me to song lyrics??

The Police....Every Breath you Take

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
(This could be our proverb of the day! Continue reading as if God was writing this song!)
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
(I just read Jonah for Disciple class...rings of Jonah's story....you can't run from God!)
Oh can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart breaks (Sorry God!)
with every step you take.

Wow!  I think I need to share this with my church kids.  As I mentioned this week in Disciple we read the book of Jonah...who was a prophet....didn't he know God?  didn't he know he couldn't run from him?  as a group we decided Jonah was a little pompous and like a kid, he kept poking an angry God...see what you get!!

Now to look at our daily lesson in Proverbs!  Proverbs 5:21-22
 For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. 22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.

You can't run and you can't hide.  As much as we would like to...the Lord sees all!  How we act, how we react, how we speak, who we talk about (forgive me!).  Our actions should always reflect this and we should always behave in ways that are pleasing to God.  I read somewhere or heard somewhere...what is going on in your private life is a strong indication of what is in his heart.  Remember yesterday...straight from the heart...isn't it funny how it all ties together and we have to learn one lesson before we can build on it with another!

These daily proverb lessons are from the book "The Message of Leadership" by Daniel Southern.  He is using this passage to talk about marriage and ties that into leadership.  "Marriage is a promise that puts someone else's interests ahead of your own.  Leadership, like marriage, is as much a responsibility as it is a privilege and is based on trust earned over time through hard work.  If a follower can not trust you, will they follow you?" 

I follow God because I can trust him.  When my world fell apart a couple years ago, I trusted him, I trusted his outcome and the direction he will take me.  I go blindly but I know God is faithful...and he is watching me to see how faithful I am...remember he watches every step I take, and every breath I make....

straight from the heart

I love the Bryan Adams song....Straight from the Heart....
"I've been dreamin'
Straight from the heart...
But it's easier
Comin' straight from the heart.
Oh give it to me straight from the heart..."

Our heart is the container of all that is good.  You hear people say...They have a good heart...Our emotions and all that we are...come straight from the heart!

So, who does your heart belong to?  Romantically it may belong to a person.  Your emotions for them are all bottled in your heart.  Valentine's Day, full of hearts tells us that!!! Right???

Proverbs 4:23-27 tells us to:
Above all else, guard your heart,
   for everything you do flows from it.
²⁴ Keep your mouth free of perversity;
   keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead;
   fix your gaze directly before you.
²⁶ Give careful thought to the^[a] paths for your feet
   and be steadfast in all your ways.
²⁷ Do not turn to the right or the left;
   keep your foot from evil.

Above all else...Guard your heart...everything you do flows from it...how do we guard it?  Proverbs tells us:
with our mouth...what we say...corrupt talk...talking out of both sides of our mouth...careless gossip...white lies...keep your eyes looking straight ahead...don't be distracted by things, people who are evil, people who want to tear you from the path God has set for you...think about how you are reacting...think before you walk out that door to do something you know you shouldn't....think before you pick up that phone to start that fight...think before you send that email....Keep from evil...there are evil people out there...just stay as far away from them as possible...all you can do is pray for them...
All of these things can keep your heart guarded....all of these things can keep your heart good and pure...
Give your heart to God and the love comes easily (From the tv in the other room just came the line, "in five seconds your heart will be in the wrong place"...wow! God moment)...straight from the heart!

result of dog fight 2

Remember the dog fight while I was on my way home from the mission trip?  One of the other results of the dog fight (at least I am attributing it to that) is my dog called Lil Guy is suddenly scared to death of everything.  If the dogs growl at each other, which in turn makes me yell, he is hiding and trembling.  This is the same dog that was hell on wheels.  The same dog that was Nick's arch nemesis.  The only boy dog.  He now shakes in his paws!!

Sounds like me jumping back into the dating game.  As the result of the divorce, this hell on wheels and  fiercely independent woman is suddenly shaking in her shoes at the possibilities!  What am I doing?  Am I an idiot?
I don't even know what I want in  a partner.  I've made a list.
Someone who loves to work with kids and is willing to get involved in their lives.
Someone who will love me just the way I am.
Someone who is honest.
Someone who has NEVER cheated on his wife.
Just to name a few...

Everything I read says throw the list away and settle for just a few of the things on the list...no way!  I did that for 32 years...settled...I will never settle again.

So, Lil Guy and I are finding our footing after these terrifying things that happened to us.  Together we can do this!

God first

I am back to proverbs!  Have you ever thought about putting God first in your life.  If I would ask people they would probably say...But I do....but do you really?  Where does he fall on your list of priorities?  Is he second behind family or maybe fourth behind your job, your church and your family.  It is tough to realize there are things that are more important in your life than God.

I sometimes struggle with the question.  What are the priorities in my life?  I hate to say I don't think I put God first.  Even though I am told my life could be pure joy if I did just that!! Why is it so hard.  I have tried to put him first in my work dealings.  I always try to think before I react...How would Jesus or God handle this situation...and it is amazing how it changes the entire perspective of the situation...and the outcome for me!! I find I don't try to "win" or come out on top...ahhhhhhh (angel sound) now that doesn't make me a pure angel.  Believe me, there are times I just react...pure emotion and totally BLOW a gasket!! I will say I am not very proud of those times and am disappointed in myself! But... there are always excuses aren't there!!!

Recently on the mission trip I lost it with a kid.  I lost it...as one of the leaders said...I was "enraged" and I will admit, yes I was.  It was not a pretty site!! I worry of the results....I keep him and his family on my prayer list.

Proverbs 3:5-10 tells us:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.^[a]
 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
   fear the LORD and shun evil.
⁸ This will bring health to your body
   and nourishment to your bones.
 ⁹ Honor the LORD with your wealth,
   with the firstfruits of all your crops;
¹⁰ then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
   and your vats will brim over with new wine.

Put him first and those wine vats will be overflowing!! Putting God first, ahead of everything is not an easy task.  It is something you have to work on every day and remind yourself.  And God first doesn't mean, showing up every time the doors of the church are open...it means taking him into your life...from your dealings with others to your job and to your family.  Start today and see how that goes for you!!