In the past I would carefully word this blog with a thought to who may be reading it....like the boys, Nick and Justin...I was very careful of what I said and how I said it because I didn't want to embarrass them. I know their friends read it and I would never intentionally cause anyone undue blushing!
My pastor Greg and I were having a discussion one night and at the end of a hearty exchange of words as I was ready to walk out the door he said "I read your blog". I immediately did a quick recap thinking "what have I ever said about him"...and realized...I can't take it back now. Doesn't matter. You can't write it thinking about who is reading it.
After a while you forget who might actually be reading this and just go to town spilling your guts and writing. When the mood hits you...you just write, honestly and from the heart...I keep a list of topic ideas but I never know what is going to come from my fingers pecking on the keys. I have always loved to write but was never sure what type of work I would write...I think I have found my forte...I have found my calling.
My love of God and my honest questioning I hope make it work. I hope I ask the questions you've always wanted to ask and may have been afraid to. I could get away with it for awhile because everyone felt sorry for me because of what happened. I couldn't count on that pity forever and hope it still isn't like that. I do backslide occasionally and throw myself a big ol pity party. I think (personal opinion) we don't grow in our relationship with God without questions. In any relationship you don't get to know someone without asking those questions...to pry, dig and know more. We don't just start out loving someone...we have to get to know them better. Hence, the questions. It's the same way with God. He wants to know us better and we him.
God wants a great relationship with us and invites those hard questions...he can't wait to answer us!! I'm sure his answers are way better than mine. I am sure his sense of humor shines through!
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